Today was something of a mindfuck of a day with the opening of the CiAL ‘Newoman’ department store in Yokohama – the experience of which I will have to write about later, shrivelled as a dried persimmon as I feel right now, reduced by my first impact of corona consumerism, which had me running for the exits. and then a night of fully masked teaching.



But fruit?  These really are VASTLY overpriced for what they are. A rip off  ! The orange was light aquatic rubbish; the pineapple far less convincing than the same flavoured chewing gum I had the other day ; the lemon I would enjoy in a boutique hotel hard milled into a pretentiously conceptualised trope, sorry, soap, briefly glittering but otherwise just another non eligible interface in my fragile conscious.


No – get your fix at the fruit market. Buy a cheapo approximation. Eat fruit. Avoid             S H O P PIN G




Filed under Fruit


  1. That awful, eh? The caps looked fun…

    • Really? I thought they were tacky, or not nearly tacky enough. I am sick of weak rubbish being passed off for almost 300 dollars. And I LOVE fruit.

      • Tacky and fun aren’t mutually exclusive, and I’m only judging by the photo… but being ripped off is no fun at all. Glad to be warned!
        The only pineapple perfumes I can think of are FM’s Music for a While and Ramon Monegal’s Olé, which is quite rich and somewhat chemical. Not sure what to make of it.

      • Define tacky but I do believe you are preaching to the converted in the Haus Of Trash – they didn’t go nearly far enough.

        Pineapple is definitely tricky.

  2. Robin

    Sound advice.

    • Honestly, it was like a nightmare. I couldn’t find the exits. There were hundreds of staff everywhere with megaphones directing we sheep going up and down escalators even though there has been a spike in nearby Tokyo and I thought I was stupid to be there in the first place – purely out of curiosity, I wanted to see if there were any perfume shops, but we were being so DIRECTED in terms of where we could walk that the whole experience was entirely unpleasant.

      I think Fruit is the generally speaking just not done very well in perfumery. Flowers can be deliciously transmuted, as can spices and woods and so many other things; fruit is generally just a chemical disaster.

  3. They look cheap and boring.

    • They are. I would wear the lemon if staying at a hotel, as I love that feeling of using all the toiletries in the shower and then that scent reminding you of your holiday. The lemon was zingy and had a proper sense of being a ‘cologne’; I thought the others were dreadful.

  4. bibimaizoon

    Seemed like an interesting premise? Too bad, a pineapple, lemon, or orange fragrance with some Italian bombast would’ve been fun! I have never been impressed with the D&G scents. I bought Rose the One years ago on the advice of a friend, was disappointed to find it a wimpy, watery version of Lancome’s Tresor.

    • Wimpy and watery – yes. However, the Velvet Collection is often really gorgeous. I would wear a whole load of them if they weren’t so expensive. Velvet Desire is a divine white floral – one of my favourites. Those ones are richer.

  5. Ha! Ha! I get the avoid message loud and clear, Neil. Must be really bad.

    • I WAS in a bad mood and just tossed the review off in five minutes.

      The lemon I did like, but in fruit I demand more generosity

      • You know what they say about posting when in a bad mood / under the influence. Will look out for them when they arrive in South Africa. For some odd reason, bad reviews encourage me to smell them for myself.

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