Dior Homme Cologne is a ‘refreshed’ and repackaged version of the 2014 light citrus musk that was released as a summer variant to the velveted, sweet iris of the original, groundbreaking Dior Homme. I loved the powdered, clean laundered air of the top iris note in the first editions of that scent as much as the next person – and applauded the absolute volte face it represented in what the possibilities it held for fragrances targeted at a male audience. If actually wearing Dior Homme, with the cloying, densely sweet ambered/tonka bean vanilla in its later stages made me want to actually claw the skin off my own face, I still do appreciate its relevance as a gamechanger.

Because I am not really one to go out of my way to try all the exhausting flankers of every scent release, the cologne version of Homme – actually a totally different perfume – had escaped my attention. Yesterday, though not quite as nifty as Robert Pattinson in my work suit and splendiferous tie, I decided to sample this, on a paper card, in the city, and just a little on the back of my hand so that I could wash it off as necessary.

First impressions: Francois Demachy, grand nez at Dior, sure knows how to nail the deal. Essentially, this is an aldehydic grapefruit musk with a healthy dose of steam-ironed freshness and Iso E Super to surround the wearer like a just washed forcefield, with some vetiver in there as well (not mentioned but I can smell it) on top of hidden iris, as a discreet link to the first iteration of Homme.

At first I was thinking: ooh, could I actually wear this? Could this be my next summer scent? Grapefruit is not often done well in perfume; here, it is bright, energized; the link to the floral heart of the scent apparently based on grapefruit blossom, the idea of a fleur de pamplemousse quite appealing as a light morning summer flutter. As the scent gradually settled, I realized what it was beginning to remind me of a lot: : a modern unisex tribute to Estee Lauder’s White Linen.

I did begin to feel strange after a ten or so minutes, though, I must admit, as if my identity had been hijacked. This wasn’t an entirely unpleasant sensation, as we all sometimes need a break from ourselves, but I definitely had the sensation of being on a plane, in the cabin air, and the artificial happiness of clean scents being pumped into the space to stop you choking on all the flatulent miasma. It was pleasant, but too generically ‘nice’. Eventually, I had to wash it off because the white musk base – still with traces of convincing grapefruit – was starting to bother me. In the same way thar Prada Infusion D’Iris, or Terre D’Hermes, which I always invoke as examples of perfectly crafted modern perfume that I nevertheless personally always find too one note and insistent, are very pleasant but also nerve-dulling, this is also one of those pristine juggernauts that are destined to sell by the bucketload, despite the internal sameness, because they just work overall : immaculate balance; good projection, an easygoing, relatable smell. This is perfect for a smart young person. Just not for yours truly.

It’s also quite interesting to look at the advertising for this fragrance. Robert Pattinson is up on high; sitting alone, in the sun, clean and groomed, smelling of just-showered floridian citrus, crisp and fresh; in self-contained solitude. No European supermodels clawing at his chest or mauling him in a elevator :

gratuitous male nudity as it is Friday

: the suggestion being perhaps that this is a scent more for just getting on with the day; feeling pep and preppy as you are doing so, not necessarily with shagging on the brain, unlike the louche aggression of Johnny Depp in the Sauvage ads, in which the actor is trawling through the desert with a scowl on his troubled face, the kohl melting under his sorrowful eyes, searching bitterly for more real estate and his old place in the firmament; stirring up his legions of rabid zomboid rottweiler ‘superfans’ who undoubtedly drink the pungent, injurious Sauvage eau de parfum by the gazillion in Manchester cocktail bars as funky evening aperitifs (naturally, sales of this megalith soared during the trial with Amber Heard; disgusting, really, when you think about it https://wwd.com/beauty-industry-news/beauty-features/dior-sauvage-johnny-depp-amber-heard-sales-fragrance-1235192960/). The world is fucked.

In comparison, away from all that sordid grubbing and defamation, the Dior Homme cologne is very neat: represents no danger: no threat; no sadomasochistic fantasies. Something to wear alone. A scent to get you through the day: innocuous, polished, unstained.

It smells of grapefruit.


Filed under Flowers

14 responses to “DIOR HOMME COLOGNE (2022)

  1. Well, I am all for gratuitous male nudity any day of the week. Getting bored with naked females being used to sell everything. Mr Pattinson seems to be unshorn below the neck, is body hair making a comeback? YIPPEE!
    Good taste in scent is knowing what’s right for any occasion, sometimes crisp, pristine, & polished is what’s appropriate. I like this version of Homme, it is a tasteful & calm version of the ubiquitous male freshies on offer nowadays.
    The Johnny Depp Sauvage ads are ridiculous, I lost interest in his films after Edward Scissorhands. He just seems like another tired, trashed, and tattooed Los Angeleno to this California gal. Looks to have made a fool of himself over a youngster.
    Speaking of quiet sophistication, I’m wearing the American Diorissimo today – Elizabeth Arden’s 5th Avenue. Reminiscent of the mid 90s trend of fresh florals like Estee Lauder Pleasures & Ralph Lauren Romance. Such an underrated classic (at an amazingly low price), the soft linden blossom note sets it apart from it’s brasher Yankee peers. Smelling clean & serene in the miserable Monsoon heat!

    • I can see the bottle immediately in my mind but am not sure I know it.

      Agree that the Dior Cologne is definitely good – hopefully that came through in the review, even after a while I felt too transformed by it to continue.

      As for the Heard / Depp trial, I wasn’t following it but it was inescapable, newspaper editorials about what it all signified etc etc. I’m not a fan of his but recently on a whim watched his ‘Goodbye Richard’ about a college professor who finds out he has a terminal illness – a black comedy that he was actually really good in. I like to try and keep an open mind wherever possible.

      • I watched the entire trashy, tawdry, train wreck of trial. Mostly out of morbid curiosity about my own American culture. There were no innocent parties in this tragedy, in my opinion. That 2 people with all the best of this world at their fingertips rather chose jealous tantrums, getting shitfaced, & clouting each other about? Seriously? “The world is fucked,” as per Mr Chapman.
        Bring on the restrained, polished, and refined! Grapefruit it is. Enough of crap American pop culture.

  2. But… there IS a bare-shouldered female figure clinging to Pattinson’s arm in the ad!

    • I know! And why not!

      Do you know this one, by the way?

      This is a bizarre post – I don’t really know where I was going with it. It’s a nice scent – but before you know it I was going on about Johnny Depp.

      • I think I was matching the description of “solitude” to the wrong ad, lol. Didn’t recognize him in the first one. I haven’t smelled Dior Homme in any version, but will give it a sniff if I come across it next time.

  3. Nancysg

    I own the extreme opposite of this version of Dior Homme….the Parfum. I know a lot of people consider it over the edge of wearability. Too much Iris/vanilla that lasts forever. But I enjoy the richness of it, if I don’t overspray.

  4. I find it interesting that this brought to mind White Linen, which is so nose ticklingly fresh and crisp, yet this has a grapefruit note, which for some reason I always find slightly bitter.
    Robert P. does make the scent more desirable though, he is rather pleasantly tasty looking..

  5. Doug Via

    It’s just the Cologne 💕💕💕✔️✔️✔️👌🏾

  6. Paul Givenchy

    Worst review I have ever had to drudge through! Pain stakingly wordy, to lead to a critique that has nothing to do with the true aspects of the product. I’m exhausted.

    • Doesn’t it ? I thought I was nailing the essence of the scent, but definitely this isn’t a regular review, probably. It definitely did go off the rails, and you were valiant to ride the waves of tedium right until the end.

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