I was just at Kamakura City Hall attending to bureaucratic matters – something that always puts me on edge. Gaijin cards, visas, the new social security system that everyone in the country is expected to apply for – as a foreigner, especially, these are never occasions to especially look forward to. How nice, then, that the staff there today were so gentle, friendly, and calm.
Initially I was just about managing it all in Japanese with a very accommodating lady who threw in the odd English word for good measure; when things started to get more complicated and my vocabulary brain began to crumble, she called over her fluent English speaking colleague – without embarrassing me in any way -and I continued the proceedings with an exceedingly pleasant, humorous and very well put together lady in her sixties or so who not only talked me through the correct procedures while also giving me encouraging words about the success of her knee replacements – but also smelled lovely.
I told her I wrote about perfume and asked her what she was wearing (to me the aura – sillage she was emanating from behind the semi-separated perspex screen was chypric, classical, rose/ floral but not outdated): ‘Dior L’Absolu – : is it too strong ? ‘Not at all’, I told her, though I can’t vouch for her colleagues who are all working in rather a cramped and crowded work space. ‘I usually wear this one in winter and spring and move on to the mist when summer comes along’.
All the exchanges today, in what took less than twenty minutes in total, were polite, sincere, dare I say it even life affirming. The employees in question didn’t hesitate to draw my attention to the importance of certain issues – you really don’t want to be stuck in a Japanese immigration detention centre – or experience the infamous hose pipes of Nagoya prison: such places are to be avoided at all costs, and everyone involved, my self included, is thus taking the facts and documentation suitably seriously.
But at the same time, some simple humanity, gentility, empathy, kindness, humour – as well as a lovely perfume as an aesthetically pleasing added bonus – made what could have been a protracted, nerve-wracking experience actually pleasurable and engaging. Knees or no knees, my eyes slightly moistening, I practically skipped out the building.
This type of stories/ experiences inspires me better to sample fragrances (rather then the tripe I read on IG). I think I sampled this briefly but I can’t remember what I thought. Its so good to hear that she has a different strategy and though process for different seasons. It’s nice to see how other people approach scents.
Yes. It smelled very lady like and feminine but also had a dignified depth and sensual allure that worked perfectly on her. It made my morning
Dear Monsieur Ginzaintherain
How soothing and lovely to read this. I almost skipped beside you in the end! So nice.
I am lying on a stretcher in a hospice beside Wendela , since 10 years my beloved. We saw each other sparingly due to age and temperament: both of us are eigenheimers (Dutch potato brand meaning very independant solitary beings).
Saying goodbye and staying at her side is heartrending and amazing. Grief comes to me when someone is kind or says/does a kind thing. This is my third lover to die. I almost became superstitious.
So glad to lie here and to absorb your relief in dealing with the unavoidable administrative garbage!
Dior Absolue. No way for her!
I sprinkle Eau des Beaux pour homme from L’occitane on her pillow. And I wear Natural Scents Apivita Earth. She is very ‘ natural. No Caron, Guerlain or anything like that vintage or not. Make her fastidious nose crinkle with disgust. I showered in the bathroom with Stella Maris Courage des Bois. She is very into that, the previous one Wood absolute?? being discontinued.
This feels very appropriate and nice to share this with you! Not macabre at all. Scent is one of the senses after all! May she go with the flow, as she is very fond of saying, with her nose en rapport with her favorite scents
Heart-rending to read but wonderful to experience your warmth and courage.
All the best to you both x
Thank you for sharing your experience. How indicative of our times that these essentially human kindnesses are so calming and almost moving to read. Especially in circumstances where someone has the position to cause another human being to feel less, or belittle them or worse, for them to be courteous and gentle is exceptional. And to smell lovely@
Exactly. So much cruelty and barbarism going on in the world, spreading like a virus, a sadistic glee in the very air, that to be in an entirely set of fragrant circumstances also moved me almost to tears.
DECENCY AND RESPECT FOR OUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS REALLY ISN’T THAT HARD!!!!!
I seem to recall that in the mid/late 20th century this would not have been exceptional. Good manners, despite trashy tabloids were the norm.
Do good manners still count in Japanese culture generally?
I am pleased you had such a good experience when dealing with governmental bureaucracy
Good manners count M A S S I V E L Y here !!
I so wish they did in the UK.
This is all so reassuring to hear, Neil, and thank you for writing so deeply about it.
It’s so important, I get a little choked up reading it. Some simple humanity, gentility, empathy, kindness, humour . . . especially when it seems as though most of the world is operating with entirely different values.
Ric and I are in the process of buying our first home together, and all the professionals involved have been extraordinarily, exactly as you’ve described, with honesty thrown in for good measure: conducive to nights that haven’t been spent tossing and turning, wondering if we can trust the people and the process. Feeling pretty grateful to be living in this little corner of the world (Sunshine Coast, British Columbia), with people like this.
Very glad to read this – excited for you both and yes, people just being sweet and decent means everything