

On me: Vintage Balmain Jolie Madame (parfum and eau de toilette): Violets, artemisia, galbanum, and leather.
On him: Guerlain Lavande Velours: Violets, violets, lavender and iris.


On me: Vintage Balmain Jolie Madame (parfum and eau de toilette): Violets, artemisia, galbanum, and leather.
On him: Guerlain Lavande Velours: Violets, violets, lavender and iris.
Filed under Flowers

I love citrus. In fact, if I were a fruit, I would probably be a lemon (before Facebook inexplicably shut down my account on the day of my birthday last year, my FB alter ego, to stop my students from looking me up, was Lemon Peel). While I love all vegetables and fruit without exception, lemons, oranges and grapefruit are at the top of the pile for me somehow, so rich in truth clarity and sharpness: I always love how the citric acidity tears through your system and the sheer life force in those oil pores present in the fruit’s skin burst open from their untouched membranes and releases pure, unadulterated essence. Where most essential oils have to be dragged unwillingly from their giver – boiled, distilled, or drowned in hexane – the citrus oils are all libidinous, at the height of their potencies and waiting to burst forth: you just have to give them a squeeze.
Despite all of this and my large consumption of citrus fruit – particularly all the delectably tart, Japanese varieties such as the iyokan, whose thick, oiled skin is a veritable perfumed bonanza of citric power so strong you can fill an entire room with it when you open one- rarely am I satisfied in fact with a citrus perfume. It’s like with tea and coffee. I am ultimately more of a coffee drinker – I drink tons of it – but am not that fussy about where it comes from, from truck stop to fast food to gourmet (though it must always be real coffee, never instant, which somehow feels like poison). But I can drink it in cups, mugs, paper cups, anything, in the same way that I am fairly easy perfume-wise when it comes to anything ambery, coconutty, almondy – even if it is not one hundred per cent perfect I will probably wear it at least once or twice as I basically like that kind of smell. With tea, though, I am extremely selective. Phobic, almost. Probably traumatized by too many bad cases of ‘builder’s tea’ in the UK – luke-warm, malty, over-milked ‘English Breakfast’ muck served in stained mugs – even a hint of those foul gustatory memories makes me heave and as a result, like some high falutin duchess, I will only drink ‘English’ tea out of bone china cups and done my way: piping hot, either Earl Grey, or Darjeeling, or if it’s Ceylon or Assam, with the perfect addition of cardamon and nutmeg (delicious, actually, the way we drink it every morning). The cheery English clarion call ‘You want a cuppa tea?’ actually fills me with dread.
From an olfactory point of view it is the same with citrus perfumes. I am unbearably fussy. They never get it right. They are either too musky – I don’t like the classical citrus template in the familiar mode of 411 or Guerlain Eau Du Coq or Eau De Cologne Imperiale at all (I certainly don’t need any rosemary or neroli in it, nor any powder or Tonkin musc), too herbal – Eau De Guerlain, Eau d’hadrian -or else they contain too many harsh, synthetic modern wood notes either (almost impossible, now, to evade). Bergamot is one of the, if not the most exquisite essential oil(s) existing in our fragrant universe, and it is an oil I love both in perfumery – think of how it floats haughtily and beautifully above in Shalimar parfum – and as an essential oil for its healing properties – if you ever get a cold sore or a sore throat, this oil is simply the best (my body and bergamot are naturally in sync). Plus, unlike the revolting, gasoline-and-dill-pickle smell of tea tree oil, which is effective but whose scent I can’t abide, bergamot smells beautiful, and refreshing, into the bargain. Rarely, however, is it done justice in a competently rendered, bergamot namesake perfume.
New York based Atelier Cologne has really made a name for itself with its citrus perfumes over the past few years, and Bergamote Soleil is the latest addition to the ever expanding line. While I was unimpressed with the recent Cedrat Enivrant (too ninetiesy sport spritz), Pomelo Paradis (too synthetic boiled sweet – too ‘yellow’), Grand Neroli (initial impression: fantabulously citric symphonia – later, boring) and Orange Sanguine (nearly there! adorable beginning, really like it, not so fussed about the musk note later that reminds me of Etat Libre d’Orange’s horrifying Secretions Magnifiques), Bergamote Soleil has perhaps the most deliriously enjoyable beginning section of any Atelier Cologne citrus perfume so far – quite immediate and appealing (though I am yet to sample Mandarine Glaciale, which also sounds quite nice: in a review I wrote last year or so, if you remember I was also going crazy about Tom Ford’s Mandarino d’Amalfi though even that, ultimately, failed my stringent and unforgiving skin tests as it faded to its unenlivening, standardised baseline).
Bergamote Soleil almost gets there for me, in its charming and positively smile inducing head notes. Yum, we are talking a fresh, citric green (cardamom and jasmine) revivifying spray that would be positively delightful on a sun-filled morning in late July. Although it doesn’t smell especially like bergamot as such – more like lime and lemon and other things – The Different Company’s Bergamote is a more classically bergamot citrus cologne, for example, as is Ermenegilda Zegna’s fresh, but rather po-faced, zipped up Italian Bergamot – this zinging, cheerful perfume has that uplifting, citrus bouquet fantasia aspect I have always really enjoyed in such pleasing perfumes as Caron Eau Fraiche (probably the closest I have ever come to finding a perfect combination of mandarin, orange, grapefruit, lemon, bergamot and lime – like a multi-faceted floral bouquet, its ultimate identity becomes something new as the citrus essences fuse) or even reminding me slightly of the lime-focalized beauty of the modest, but beautifully crisp, Sport De Paco Rabanne, one of the best citrus blends for men ever created. Bergamote De Soleil has that similar carefree, summer sensation, when you just splash on your citrus cologne and forget all your worries because the sunshine is literally blasting them back into the shadows: it is this that I love about summertime – never do I feel more alive, yet drowsy and happily in the moment, unlike in Autumn, when the doubt and the melancholy begin to creep back in, and life is revealed again in all its ultimate sadness.
“They drove all night long taking turns… The minivan was the same one they had when they first met. He spotted it instantly, driving along the line of bergamot trees leading up to the villa. The table was already set for lunch. He wasn’t surprised to see them. It was as if they had always been together. This moment was a blessing and a reminder of so many treasured years.”
This quotation is written on the back of the bottle of Bergamote Soleil and I like this idea: a romantic vignette, a small story, that you can reflect upon as you pick up your bottle of scent – the memories of summers past, and treasured places (and what a glorious idea, an avenue of bergamot trees – this imaginary picnic must have taken place in Lombardy or Calabria) and spray.
It was also a sweet, nostalgic romanticism that suited, perfectly, the film I was watching as I analyzed this perfume last night – Ricki And The Flash, the latest work by Jonathan Demme (most famously the director of the Talking Heads’ live concert film Stop Making Sense and the horrifying serial killer classic Silence Of The Lambs, but more recently of more heartfelt, humanist dramas such as Rachel At The Wedding, which, with its in depth and convincing analysis of friction filled family dynamics I rather enjoyed). Centred on characters being plunged back (comically) into their past and starring a hugely enjoyable Meryl Streep, both the perfume and the film were ideal ways for me to relax, expand my soul, and fully properly enjoy the first day of my spring holidays.
The day before, Monday, the last day of term, was exhausting. One of those days that you somehow have to just get through. It was freezing cold, pelting it down with rain and sleet, and I had to attend graduation parties at three different schools 50 km or more away from each other; the rainwater seeping into my shoes and socks soggily as I traipsed my way back between three different cities, drenched and cold and back and forth congratulating students and smiling benevolently (but genuinely – some of them did very well this year and I became quite close to a few of them), but at the final school, the main headquarters, I was then required to perform – me in front of a hundred Japanese people – the usual scenario – as I did my well practiced slow, ballad version of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way (effective) and a non-rehearsed (not even once) with-the-head-of-English-on-lead guitar atrocious performance of David Bowie’s Star Man (mortifying). I felt like such a fool, and I was so glad to get home to bed afterwards, much later that night when it was finally all over, as the rain continued to pour down, and I dropped like a shivering dead weight onto my waiting bedroom pillow.
Yesterday morning when I woke up though it was glorious. Beautiful, sunny weather, clear skies, much warmer. The Japanese spring, rather like this post, is all over the place – even more so these last few years – and there is, I’m sure, some ancient, cliched idiom or other about how this constantly changing weather mirrors a ‘woman’s mood’ or something typically derogatory, but it really is, at the moment, vastly changeable and unpredictable. The previous Monday the temperature had gone up into the seventies – as hot as an English August in July – and then the next day plunged back into winter. The magnolia and plum trees are all out but their flowers are getting blown away or touched by the cold; the much heralded cherry blossom will soon be on its way, though, already budding, and you can feel the country’s growing excitement on its behalf (which will never wane: the Japanese love love love their sakura to the death).
Yurakucho, though still in the very centre of Tokyo, has a fair share of flowering trees itself and this was where I spent the afternoon and evening yesterday – a perfect place for entertainment, and an area that we often enjoy going up to to eat (god the food you can eat in Japan is good, particularly Chinese, exquisite), go to one of the bars along the rail tracks, or to see a film in the number of cinemas that are dotted around the district. Near Ginza and Hibiya, the whole area is a total pleasure centre, basically , both aesthetically pleasing, futuristic and traditionally Japanese, and packed with places to enthusiastically spend your hard earned money in. Hankyu department store is the probably the next best place for perfume after Isetan, Shinjuku and Beauty And Youth in Shibuya, so it’s always a nifty place to just pop into for a spray before you go on to your next destination – in this case, as is often the way with me, the cinema. Although I couldn’t find any films that I was desperate to see when I read through the Japan Times earlier in the morning, there were still three potential films I was partly interested in: The Martian, The Lobster, or Ricki And The Flash.
With the wonderfully sunny weather, though, and all the flowers coming out on the trees, my mood was really up and after the coldness I had felt, both literally and emotionally, the day before, plodding about soddenly in my Mr Chapman teacher guise wishing the day would end, I knew, instinctively, I needed warmth. Ridley Scott’s The Martian is probably solid entertainment but I wasn’t in the mood for ‘effects’; The Lobster is some grim, Greek dystopian nightmare about failed human relationships that I just couldn’t face at that particular moment, and so with some scented Soleil spritzed quite happily on the back of my hand, I went, instead, to the Human Trust Cinema Yurakucho film to watch something bright and sunny.
A family drama centered around a ‘failed, ageing rock singer’ (though I would say she was more just a woman with integrity who just refuses to compromise her dream even if it means abandoning her family), Rick And The Flash chronicles the family drama of a character named Ricki (Meryl Streep), a penniless singer who sings with her backing band The Flash in rock bars in downtown L.A with her boyfriend the lead guitarist (played by real life rock musician Rick Springfield), and who is called back to her family in New York State when her daughter attempts to kill herself following the break up of her marriage. A typical, and I suppose, predictable, ‘fish out of water’ type of scenario ensues in the comic screen play by Diablo Cody as the ‘alternative’ Ricki (all leather trousers, heavy make up and wild hairdos) fights with the more upright, acrimonious, and uptight, well to do and resentful members of her former family, held together by her rather prim ex-husband (Kevin Kline) and second wife back in his gated, suburban mansion in Indianapolis.
As the critic for the New York Times, A.O. Scott wrote in his review of the film, the entire confection is more like Easy Listening than Rock N’ Roll, and it is true that the threads of the story were perhaps too easily tied up at the end in standard, feel good fashion and that some of the peripheral characters were rather fuzzily drawn, but who cares: I thought Meryl was fantastic – one of her more believable castings I would say, funny, sexy and unselfconscious; and yes, the liberal, humanistic, everyone-of-all-races-and-sexual-persuasions-and-social-groups dancing together at the smile and cry ending may have been a little idealistic and fantastical, but in these dangerously fascistic and highly divisive times (tell me that Donald Trump isn’t going to be the next president), who is complaining. For one night, at least, I was happy to try and believe that such unity between people is possible, that ‘love can conquer all’, etc etc, and I sat there at the front of the cinema completely in my element, alternately tearing up, laughing out loud, and beaming ear to ear. I loved it.
I have to say, though, that the perfume, still there on the back of my hand in tandem at this point, wasn’t working quite as well. There are times when a rubbish film will just fade into the background as a delicious perfume takes over the concentration instead. But much as the sunny beginning of Bergamote Soleil had appealed to my sensibilities in the beginning, in its short, initial stages, as usual with Atelier Cologne fragrances, the ending, for me personally, was drab and uninspiring. ‘Slovenian moss’ and ‘white amber’ or whatever it may, allegedly contain yes,but in reality this accord is just a lingering, and tedious smudge of nondescriptness. The Cedrat Envirant on my left hand had long become annoying in its standard masculine prescriptiveness, but at least it had some discernible character in its finale, unlike the Bergamote. It was not a bad smell exactly, just far too uninspiring to part with money for : the disappointing and yawning chasm between the gorgeously brightening initial notes and the boredom of the drydown would prove just too much of an ultimate irritation for me every single time I sprayed it on (do you think that I am being too picky, dear reader? Can one be too picky when it comes to putting something on your skin? It’s just that I consider the base accord in a perfume, ultimately, to be by far the most important. It’s the part that you have to live with. The part that remains on your clothes. Don’t you?)
The citruses I like best personally all work from top through to bottom: either the green orange- leaf dignity of Hermes Eau D’Orange Verte with its delicate, delicate base note of patchouli, or else the convincingly well made sunny brightness of Miller Harris’ Citron Citron and its sturdy but deftly done note of vetiver. Or else, ideally, I like it to just smell, somehow (using the perfumer’s magic box of tricks) continuously, continually of citrus (as that is the point, isn’t it, ultimately). Of the classical Guerlain colognes, only Eau De Fleurs De Cedrat really manages this feat as it lays off the musk, just leaving a faint whisper of orange, while the more contemporary Cologne du 69 brilliantly manages to drift down from heavenly citrus notes to a feathered and meringue like vanillic eiderdown. I personally like a more attenuated, yet continual aura of lemon or orange or bergamot throughout the duration of a ‘citrus’ perfume on my skin if it is at all humanly possible, rather than just a drab and annoyingly persistent musk accord – a briefly enjoyable dose of short-lived sunlight, lovely and fresh – that then ends, to your chagrin, most disappointingly, as it disappears completely away from view, like the sunshine draining away in September, in a – for want of a better word – flash.

Chloe: that floaty, dreamy, feminine. Two women – one from 1975, the other 2008. Rivals who, though sharing the same name, could hardly be further apart.

The upstart debutante, ‘Chloe Eau de Parfum’, released in 2008, immediately had ‘winner’ stamped all over it. As soon as I smelled the perfume I thought ‘bingo’ : yes – this will sell by the truckload – a scent that had the familiarity of certain other fresh, floral scents – Calvin Klein’s Escape came immediately to mind – yet felt completely contemporary and fully realized: a sharp, piercing, ‘hydroponic’ floral of roses, peonies, lychees and urban, ‘ambered’ chic with cooler than thou freesias. Winning all the awards it could possibly win the following year, from the FIFI best fragrance to the Grand Prix Du Parfum, the reborn Chloe has now become an inextinguishable part of the city olfactory lexicon. You smell it on ladies who lunch; on those that smell so chemically clean their bones squeak; lingering on their unimaginative, but fashionable coats and at the edges of their sheening, high-grade makeup.


I hate this perfume. Really, really hate it. With a passion. I admit that in an way it has perfect construction and is very clever. It works from all angles. It ‘encapsulates the times’. But it is, also, quite inhuman. The strength of its entirely synthetic composition is unholy.
While programmed by the current conservative codes to act all feminine and soft – virginal, prim and proper but with a cleverly flirtatious ‘taste of what’s to come’, this scent, when you peel back the skin, has the infallibility and metallic machine strength of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s unrelenting killer robot in Terminator 2.Hasta la vista baby: : : : I’LL BE BACK. ‘Chloe Eau De Parfum’ is so hissing, so acidically ‘chic’ and penetrating, that when a women wearing too much of this perfume approaches, the scent radiating from her poreless skin – – like a shield, her inviolable armour of hygiene – the smell, of those screeching, hysterically oyster roses – violates your tongue, your bloodstream – she blinds you with her prettiness: you taste her chemicals, you shudder.


Chloe suddenly realizing that she smells really, really horrible.
*

Yesterday I picked up, for song, a 15ml vintage parfum of the original Chloe, that soft, adipose, white floral classic still loved by many and who continue to lament its reformulation as a relegated, drugstore cheapo. Shaped disturbingly like a severed aortic heart valve (or else a truncated calla lily, depending on your mindset), it is easy to understand why lovers of the current Chloe would label this languorous predecessor a ‘grandma’. There is a fuzziness, dare I say it, a ‘perfumey’ quality – a word I hesitate to use ordinarily as I prefer to find better descriptors – but yes, that aldehydic, padded, cosy, curvaceous skin-clinging quality that the ‘old’ perfumes had – the ones that made you want to move in closer and nuzzle up to the bosom, rather than hold your breath and scream and run.
Yes, the vulnerability and soft, gauzy neediness of this perfume – a cottonwool tuberose with sweet breath of coconut and honeysuckle – may well disgust her younger contemporaries. Certainly. I understand that fully. In comparison to their taut, boned musculature, their brand new tea dresses and their agitated, smiling anorexia, this Chloe, so rounded and smooth, smells almost fat.
Yes, my sweet contemporary darling, I suppose, in a way, it kind of does: but unlike your cold and hyperbolically perfect self, so sharp and unyielding, so poised and indisputable, this Chloe – woozily insinuating, skin-warm and swoon – smells beautiful; real.

The film stills I have used here for this (predictably unpopular) post – no one likes me when I get all poisonous – are all taken from ‘Chloe’, an erotic thriller from 2010 that I am very fond of and have seen several times. Full of genre tropes but filmed with an arthouse sensibility (by Canadian director Atom Egoyan), this is a breathless, sapphic twist on Fatal Attraction – all you-think-you-can–sleep-with-me-and-just-throw-me-away? obsession and lace n’lipstick thrills, starring Julianne Moore, – playing a top level gynaecologist in Toronto pursued by a fractured, psychotic high class prostitute, Chloe (a siren who has also seduced her husband and son), and a character played quite alluringly, and hypnotically, by the beautiful (and in fact, very 1975 Chloe – had she been around back then I’m sure Lagerfeld would have used her in the advertising campaign), Amanda Seyfried.

I’ll leave you to imagine who prevails.
Filed under Flowers
Today it is five years since the horrifying triple disasters of the Great Tohoku Earthquake, tsunami and Fukushima nuclear meltdown destroyed a huge swathe of northern Japan, rocking the nation to its core.
To me, sat here at my computer in a different house to the one we were living in at the time (we moved directly after), the overwhelming tragedy feels both like a long time ago, now, and yet very real in my mind, close and instant. It was a terrifying and quite surreal experience that we can never erase from our memories, and I wonder, in a sense, if we have ever really dealt with it or just tried to pretend it never happened. It wasn’t until the other day, for example, with reports in newspapers about the situation in Tohoku as the fifth anniversay approached, that I actually looked at footage online of the tsunami live as it crushed whole communities, but even then I didn’t look long. Duncan never has. Is that abnormal?
Although much of the debris has been cleared away up there and reconstruction continues, around 200,000 people are still apparently living in temporary housing- which must be so cold in winter it makes me shudder just thinking about it. Japanese houses are freezing at the best of times in cold weather and I can only imagine what a thin, metallic prefab house assailed by icy winds must feel like. In summer it must be like a microwave.
Almost 20,000 people died up there, in scenes of devastation I don’t even want to imagine. And then to not only have to try and deal with the loss of loved ones and the destruction of their homes, because of the incompetence of Tokyo Electric and their inability to properly prepare for such an eventuality, they then had to cope with the total panic of the nuclear radiation scare as Fukushima No 1 power plant melted down and god knows what was released into the atmosphere and the water. It is no wonder, therefore, that post-traumatic stress disorder is still very common among school children and many other sections of the community, as well as a sharply increased suicide rate. They really do have a lot to contend with.
Which is why I suppose that none of the rest of us, down here in Kanagawa prefecture, ever talk about it. It has almost become like a taboo.
As I write repeatedly and repetitively in the piece below (first published two years after the event, but it still contains everything I felt at the time, raw and vivid – quite difficult to read now, actually – ) there was a lot of guilt and suppression of anything you were feeling at the time as you knew it was nothing in comparison. And yet Tokyo and Yokohama are not that far away, really, and we were also hit by an albeit less strong, but still utterly terrifying, earthquake. Later that year in the summer I was suddenly, out of the blue, struck with a terrible case of urticaria – hives, really hard, scaly, angry red hives, over literally every inch of my body. A delayed stress reaction. I looked like a pink armadillo. Fortunately, the hives on my face were generally less terrible, though still raised and grotesque, but no one knew what was going on underneath my clothes and how enraged my skin and blood were. But I essentially withdrew from the world at the end of 2011, recalcitrant and hermit-like (the beginning of the Black Narcissus the following spring was like my re-emergence).
I was walking home with a friend and colleague (and now next door neighbour) the other night, Kunihiko, and the subject of the earthquake came up. I was quite amazed by his reaction. Five years later, he still seemed so upset at the mere recollection of that time, even though he, like me, had been here in the Kanagawa region when the earthquake hit, in his case in Yokohama, working in an underground shopping area which he thought was going to fall down and bury him alive the shaking was so terrible. He said that when he and all the other panicked people made it up to ground level, the sickening sway of the skyscrapers opposite was the worst experience of his entire life and that just thinking about it made him feel nauseous. I realized then that we had all been freaked out, had been affected in our own way. It’s just that we had to, for cultural reasons, largely, pretend that nothing had happened.
I have put this post up before, but for those who haven’t read it and are interested, below is my fragmented (and at times loony) account of that weird and frightening period, when I honestly, despite my usually quite logical and rational faculties, had no idea what was going on.
As for the continually suffering but resilient people of Tohoku, I hope that the Japanese government tries to do a better job than they have done so far in rehousing and rehabilitating the survivors of the disaster, and that the spirits of the dead are, as the beautiful cherry blossom approaches, somewhere at rest.
Here is the original piece :
Filed under Flowers



With powerful cat aromas circulating the house after a stray tom cat got in the house last night, I wondered what more beautiful feline perfume could possibly counteract it (at least silently, in my mind).
This heartless, but rather beautiful scent might be it.

Jean Louis Scherrer was a former ballet dancer turned Dior-trained couturier who designed fabulously expensive dresses for wives of the super-rich in the late seventies and early eighties, known especially for his lavish fur and animal prints and in the perfume world for his signature, eponymous scent – Scherrer. A dense, no-nonsense green chypre, there is something very wide eyed and cruel about this perfume, something that irks you inwardly like a cake with not quite enough sugar.
My own bottle is a vintage edition of the eau de parfum and it it occupies its own contemptuous, disdainful space. While the base of the scent is nonchalantly carnal – deeply so and quite androgynous (cedar, oakmoss – lots of it – civet, vetiver and musk with just a soupcon of vanilla, creating a powerful, almost muscular, feline sexuality), carnation and cassia purr hypnotically over fresh, indolic gardenia in the astringent, floral centre while up top – so green and conceited as to be almost unapproachable – galbanum, crushed leaves, violet, and a sharp, aldehydic hyacinth leap forth from the perfume with a clawed, unrestrained alacrity.
Unlike other green chypres – think Miss Dior, Alliage, Private Collection and the like – there is no vulnerability in Scherrer. This creature is beautiful and sensual, yes – but also insinuating, disturbing.

All photos of our own cat, Mori – which means ‘forest’ in Japanese – because that’s where we discovered her as a two week old kitten, emerging wet and frightened and with a badly injured leg from the woodland undergrowth….

So stupid of me to leave the entrance window open.
But it is pouring with rain today, torrential, and the cat needed an exit in case she wanted to go out, even if it looked as though she were about to spend the entire day curled up cosily inside. But that bastard one-eyed tom, the one that terrorises her, has obviously found it and come inside at its own filthy leisure and ‘sprayed’ (oh such a euphemism) the entire, bloody, place.
It stinks. I want to kill it. All that incense and room sprays for nothing.
I want to press the eject button out of my house.
Filed under Flowers