Author Archives: ginzaintherain

THE UNFORBIDDEN : L’INTERDIT by GIVENCHY (1957)

 

 

 

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In Japan Audrey Hepburn is adored. She was the ultimate gamine, the incarnation of the Caucasian ideal, and her films’ popularity never seems to wane. In the princess fantasy of Roman Holiday or the artless guile of Holly Golightly, Ms Hepburn had an unthreatening innocence, a natural sense of style, and a beautiful, swan-like elegance that blinded people, in my view, to the limitations of her acting (which I am sorry to say I always found a tiny bit grating.)

 

Her face is, though, a popular choice with advertisers here, suggesting a bright-eyed innocence and impenetrable perfection.  There are notebooks, calendars, mouse-mats, and you often see it plastered over one of the Japanese banks who use her as their ‘mascot’ (all banks have one – I had Tom and Jerry on my bank card for ten years which I always found a bit silly, but it is even more difficult to imagine Audrey Hepburn emerging from the ATM, plasticized and smiling).

 

A long time before she became an oriental gimmick, however (revenge for the insulting racial stereotype of Mickey Rooney playing Japanese in Breakfast At Tiffany’s)? Audrey Hepburn was famously the muse of Hubert Givenchy  – who dressed her in Charade and other films –  and this was the fragrance that was created for her sole use until it was later released to the public: a precursor, if you like to the world of Celebrity Fragrance, though at a time when designer perfume had so much more cachet.

 

But despite its name, L’Interdit (‘forbidden’ in French) is, in my view, a rather uninteresting scent. Taking all the features of the classic floral aldehydes, but much thicker, woodier; dowdier, it emerges as a kind of flat, common denominator. The rose, the jasmine, the ylang ylang, the iris, the violet and the woods are all there as they should be, and it’s all fine, and perfumey, and ‘eventful’ and quite gaily and dustily ballgowny with its top note of cloves and sweet, fifties strawberry,  but somehow it remains dull. For me it never really soars, in the way that other scents of the type, such as Liù, Detchema, and of course Nº 5, do, with their champagne, aldehydic citric sparkle. I have had several bottles of the vintage parfum from Tokyo flea markets and have always come to this conclusion: there is something missing, at least in the perfume’s opening and middle stages. The base, in the vintage, however, has an insinuating, myrrh-dusted vulnerability ( musk, benzoin, tonka bean and frankincense) that redeems the perfume with a certain tenderness you won’t find with others of the aldehydic persuasion – whether there is often nothing but musk – and I can imagine that there must be some people out there hankering for this more original accord that does have clout.  Still, despite this latter feminine warmth, there is nothing, to my nose at least, in this staid, conservative perfume that speaks of the forbidden.

 

 

This really was the scent of Audrey Hepburn, incidentally. It is said that upon her death, musty, powdery exhalations came from all her closets – the smell of l’Interdit, lingering and sweet, still clinging to her dresses.

 

 

 

NB: L’Interdit has changed many times. This review is of the vintage parfum. The scent was relaunched in the late 90’s in a completely different fruity floral version that everyone ignored, and then was recently released as part of the classic Givenchy series, where it was  more polished, less fusty, but still rather unmemorable. I would very much welcome other slants on this scent though as I fear I might be doing it an unjustice.

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Filed under Floral Aldehydes, Perfume Reviews

THE DEEP, HAIRY ARMPIT OF LOVE : UNGARO POUR HOMME by UNGARO (1991)

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The first time I encountered it I was twenty and not quite ready. And neither was the public apparently, as Ungaro came and went very quickly, becoming just another discontinued, but highly sought after, cult scent. Yet even back then I knew. Something murky, and sweatily, dangerously seductive smouldered on that department store counter. It was almost too obviously manly, an attempt to combine a seventies barechested medallion aesthetic with the new decade. So macho.  So not of the times, yet also not quite like anything I had ever smelled before, with its dark-pitched, absinthe, underarm intensity. I remember shrinking back – but then returning – to this rich stew of scent that touched some primal sex nerve yet also seemed so hopelessly outdated when the world of CK-depilated sport-skinniness was just around the corner.

There was never anything androgynous – or slender for that matter – about Ungaro.

This is a middle-aged, well-built businessman, after a long day at work; his smell beneath his suit; coiled, taut – waiting to emerge. He has neglected to apply his deodorant, many hours earlier, (out of forgetfulness or fetish we don’t know), but the blend is emphatically not fresh:  it is a scent that harnesses a certain brute and rough, even dirty, masculinity.Yet it also fuses this frank eroticism with style and an attractive elegance in a manner only the French could master: we are not talking here about a clichéd, covertly aggressive chat-up line by Hugo Boss.

Essentially based on brooding patchouli; dark, bitter wormwood, and lavender, this trio of ingredients is freshened with greener notes of geranium, pine and bergamot, drying down to honey-tinged, musky animalics.  Rough, and very Italo-French in its womanizing, boozy, and measured self-confidence, it may seem to skirt with parody to the contemporary nose, but to me the perfume feels lovingly drawn by its creator, not just a throwaway commission, as it exhibits a sense of laid-back intelligence and humour beyond its core message of overt sexual prowess.

For me, Ungaro I is perhaps the ultimate masculine fougère.

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A Japanese dressmaker friend, Rumi, came to my house one evening. We drank red wine, watched Almodovar, had dinner, and then got to the perfume collection.

Once I had realized her tastes, I went in a patchouli direction (Givenchy Gentleman, Paloma Picasso, Magie Noire), all of which had her coiled like a cat with pleasure.

The pièce de resistance, however, was Ungaro Pour Homme, which I saved til last, but which she said was like sexual torture.

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Filed under Fougère, Masculines

SALAD ON A SATURDAY : BAIME by Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier (2000)

 

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One of the most singular (and in some ways, peculiar) perfumes available, Baïme, by Paris-based Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier, is a fresh-cut basil salad; savoury, green and piquant. While basil is occasionally used as a top note in fragrance along with citrus, it is rarely the main story. Here, however, like Diptyque’s classic Virgilio, basil leaf is the defining feature, and if you are not a lover of this herb, then you can immediately forget Baïme.

 

 

As a cool and distinguished scent though (perfect for a formal white shirt and suit) this uncompromising, androgynous green perfume is worth trying. The accord at the heart extends the herb salad theme with thyme, marjoram, and mint; and dries down to a very elegant base accord of spiced jasmine, vetiver and anise.

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Filed under Basil, Green, Perfume Reviews

DELAYED GRATIFICATION : VANIGLIA DEL MADAGASCAR by FARMACIA S.S. ANNUNZIATA DAL 1561

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In Japan, people like to say whether they overheat (‘atsugari’) or feel the cold (‘samugari‘), a classification of types that can lead to protracted battles over air conditioning and heating. As all my friends know, I am grotesquely samugari, and have a deep-seated fear of the cold, especially living in an old-ish Japanese house where the creeping fingers of chill have already started to press against the wooden panes. Reminding me, despite the relative balminess of this season, when October, November and even December are sunny and calmly autumnal, that the hateful cold IS COMING.

August in this country is laughably hot – a swamp of sweltering humidity and ant-under-a-magnifiying-glass sun, so boiling it can be debilitating. Yet I quite like it. For some reason, I even thrive in it, like a stone-basking reptile solar-panelling for storage. The second this radiation begins to dip at the end of September it alarms me, as though my power-plug were being pulled. I am hypochondriac, as you can probably tell, but my whole system can feel under attack.

One ploy against the incipient cold, a psychological barrier at least, is of course perfume. And there is nothing better for my spiritual insulation than a warm, true vanilla. I have something verging on a vanilla obsession. As I mentioned in my review of Frazer organics and her inspirations from tropical Madagascar, I practically froth at the mouth at the thought of actually being near to the vanilla orchids; of seeing the workers pollinating them by hand; watching the vanillin-specked, dark, glistening pods fermenting their sweet odour in the sun: those tiny flecks of vanilla you see suspended in custards and yoghurts that so entice me …..miniscule dots of aphrodisiacal pungency, flowing out into the cool, lactic, surrounding deliciousness..

My first vanillic epiphany happened at the age of 13 on a French trip at Easter, a feast attended by several branches of the family I was staying with that concluded with a huge vanilla pudding; un pouding à la vanille brought proudly in on a silver tray. When I spooned some into my young mouth it was as though I had ascended to paradise…I’m sure I must have mooned my eyes, groaning in schoolboy delight:  a world of savours and almost lascivious pleasure I had never really encountered before in relatively flavourless England, where the only ice cream we ever had was from Quiksave.

This love of vanilla has never crumbled, and as a perfume ingredient or star player it has always been an essential part of my wardrobe. My cravings can be satiated by a good quality vintage Shalimar; Molinard’s icing-sugar perfect Vanille; Yves Rocher’s light orange-musk Vanille Bourbon, Kenzo’s Jungle Eléphant…I have even got through a bottle of Comptoir Sud Pacifique’s Vanille Extrême, which at certain stages in its development is quite simply monstrous in its saccharine artificiality. One of the best pure vanillas I have ever come across is another Italian perfume, I Profumi di Firenze’s golden fleece of vanillas, Vaniglia del Madagascar,a glinting, sweet elixir that you have to grit your (melting) teeth to if you want to survive through to the final, skin-licking stages, where you collapse in devilish, erotic, auto-abandon, and forget all concerns of cold, the wind and the weather. That was a great vanilla, but almost too great. Too sweet. Too concentrated.

The point here is that I get through these scents. The creations I have mentioned above (as well as two bottles of Serge Lutens Un Bois Vanille) are empty. I don’t wear vanillas, I consume them, and as soon as the melancholy breezes start stirring I find myself craving that comforting, drifty aura of sucrée in which to muzzle and refuge.

Which brings to my latest bean pod acquisition, Vaniglia del Madagascar by Farmacia SS Annunziata, a mysterious company I have been reading about on Lucky Scent recently and lusting after. Not having a credit card however, (I’m sure you can imagine why), I had never been able to order any of this perfume. Then, this summer, at the wonderful Roullier White shop in South London which I was visiting for the first time, there it was, at the front of the shop  – the first thing I saw when I went in. I bought some on the spot without having properly tried it, partly because I didn’t care – I wanted it, I liked the bottle, and I was having such wonderful lost-in-perfumista ramblings with the intriguing woman working there that it seemed only the right etiquette to buy something. A vanilla for the coming winter struck me as a good place to start.

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In the London summer heat the scent was disappointing, somehow – too thin; at once laboured yet underwhelming. The reasons for this I will come to, but I wasn’t aware of it at the time, and I put the bottle back on the shelf again, hoping its itme would come.

It has. And it has been delicious. But this is a perfume that is set to a strict slow motion, and it to took me a while to get it.

The first thing to say about the scent is that it is a parfum, but the bottle is 100ml, which seems like a contradiction in terms when fragrances of this strength traditionally come in 7ml, 14ml, or 30ml if you really have money to burn.

My first reaction to this, like a painting by Magritte, was

ceci n’est pas un parfum

 

as in terms of sillage it barely seemed to register, at least on hot, sweaty nights in London. But since the Japanese weather has cooled, and I have been spraying myself and my new hoodies with Vaniglia, I have come to realize that the perfume is structured like nuclear fission: compressed atoms of flavour which dilate outwards; slowly, at their own prehistorically ambered pace. This perfume just won’t let you rush it. It is set in thick, glacial, time-spaced layers that cannot be perturbed.

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One of the joys of Japanese culture is the universally loved traditions of sento and onsen – bathing rituals in local bath houses or hot springs where families, couples and individuals go to soap down, switch off and relax in cleansing pools of contemplation. From a therapeutic point of view, onsen, with their volcanically active, sulphurous clouds of mountain water pumped in are the best, but I am happier probably in a sento, for the smells: of steam, active ions, citrus soaps, humanity, and saunas made of hinoki.

I still can’t put my finger on why exactly, but the beginning stage of Vaniglia Del Madagascar caterpults me exactly into this environment every time I spray it on; the bitter orange top note (the website says lemon) and ambiguous ‘floral’ notes are more like a fresh, misty saltiness which I have never smelled in a vanilla before and which I have really come to appreciate since coming back to Japan this September. Where it felt odd in London, it feels absolutely right in my current context. This ‘sento ‘ stage of the perfume lasts for about an hour or so before the vanilla, essentially hidden from view by some alchemical trick, begins to appear and advance in depth and texture over a period of twelve hours or so, until you completely succumb to its heat-charged fullness and drape in it like a cream-silk blanket.

It is then that you realize ah yes, this is a parfum, it really is, especially when you wake up the next day and the sunlight bathes the golden glow. Vanilla, classical, resonating Bourbon vanilla, surrounds you, is set from your pillow. A sense, almost, of achievement. And for me, this delayed pleasure, the sensation of a whole day for the scent to reach its full, tantric potency, is quite glorious.

I’m still in the early throes of mania with this one, but I think it might actually be my all time favourite vanilla.

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Filed under Perfume Reviews, Vanilla

SOPHISTICATED BOOM BOOM: TOM FORD NOIR (2012)

 

 

 

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Any half-decent release in the dire world of commercial men’s fragrance is cause for celebration. And Noir, the latest Tom Ford release from his mainstream collection (his Private Blends are about four times the price), is really rather nice. The louche, airbrushed seductor has come up with a convincing men’s oriental for the twenty first century that will hopefully catch on with modern males and start a new trend for smells that attract rather than repel, bringing some softening and intelligence to the ghastly, weapon-like woody-citruses that usually dominate this market and club you on the head with their heavy-set, meat-head preposterone. I would happily snuggle up to someone wearing this blend and I am sure that there are many others out there who will feel the same.

Tom Ford is a savvy fashion genius who single-handedly resurrected Gucci from the ashes of irrelevance with his Studio 54 background and modern take on the 1970’s night-orchid aesthetic, transforming the company into a behemoth of urbanite cool and sex, the sheen of his bi-sexual decadence unwaning for nearly two decades.  With his own eponymous brand and its extension of this glossy-luxe, the clothes, the perfumes, similarly speak of the night; of the finest clubs and restaurants; of nocturnal A-listers who rarely see the light -vampiric trendsetters living the life and rarely leaving the hotel.

So it is easy to see why the Tom Ford fragrance collection has proven so successful. The perfumes are well-made, rich and provocative blends that scream ‘exclusivity’ and (prescribed) good taste in their simple, sturdy design-perfect flacons. True, I have yet to smell a fragrance in the line that I desperately want to own myself, but they are highly regarded by many and deservedly so. For me, though, when I smell any scent from the range, I feel I am sensing arch, elegant, but artificial fumes rising up from the bottlesrather than notes. I think of his scents as exotic poisons crafted in airless rooms – often hypnotic, undeniably sensual and luxuriant confections that sit on the skin like heavy garments, but not those that I can inhale with ease. It is fashion asphyxiating nature; yet this is possibly the whole point. The Tom Ford fragrances really are for dressing up for nights out in the city, and in this regard they work perfectly.

The list of notes in Noir, particularly those in the base (opoponax, amber, vetiver, patchouli, civet and vanilla) reads like an old Guerlain, and Mr Ford has clearly been spending some time doing his homework with plush masterpieces from the house such as Shalimar and Habit Rouge and deciding to revamp them for the modern market. But despite the appearance of Shalimar’s key natural (opoponax, a sweet resin similar to myrrh), Noir is in fact more like a reworking of that house’s best kept men’s secret – the original eau de parfum of Héritage (1992), an aromatic, peppered oriental that shouted ‘hot man in silk robe’ like no other (the edt was always slicker, thinner, sharper – it was the delicious depth of the sadly discontinued edp with its tonka and animal dry down that I always fell in love with).

Yes, Héritage was powdered suavité, a scent that drew you in to its conceited, self-loving  swagger, and Noir manages to capture some of this tactile, soft animality with a gently musked and bearded patchouli dry-down that is very sensual – unusual in the current climes of overdone, plastic banality.

That the scent is based on Héritage becomes even more evident if we look at the first and middle stages of the fragrance . The Guerlain began with a sharp blast of black pepper and bergamot; clary sage, violet, and a pinch of nutmeg, developing to a subtle rose and geranium heart before the lustful orientalia began to make themselves known and you realized you were in the presence of a full-blown male odalisque (this could be a great women’s scent as well, by the way). Noir, which isn’t really dark or black in any sense but is clinging, still, to the dull trend of calling everything and anything noir whether the smell merits that description or not, has all the above ingredients and develops in exactly the same way as Héritage, but has added notes of lemon verbena, caraway seed and pink pepper, all of which I find somewhat superfluous. It is less rich and poudré than the Guerlain, as if the icing sugar had been sucked off from the bonbon, and rather than the swiftly dissipating Guerlain bergamot that begins most of the house’s scents, in Noir there is a citronella-like roof to which the others notes rise and stick, rasping and a touch too synthetic for my comfort, a citric pillar thrust down through the downy ambers to keep the oriental alert and emboldened and prevent it from becoming too vieux beau, too Casanova in silk slippers.

This accord eventually attenuates, however, and it really is the base in this scent that works best, with its classic oriental finish : a retro-sassy take on old themes that is worth the wait.  Despite a certain throat-tickling insistency from the verbena-geranium accord in the heart, Noir is a scent that may lack poetry but not romance, and it could prove to be another  huge hit in Tom Ford’s annals of seduction.

(‘Sophisticated Boom Boom’ is the title of an early album by Dead Or Alive: a question I often ask myself about fragrances from this house)

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Filed under Masculines, Opoponax, Orientals, Patchouli, Perfume Reviews, Vanilla

LIKE A MONSTER

 

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A very long while ago – in the blog scheme of things at least –  I wrote, half-jokingly, about my grave disappointment over Fame, Lady Gaga’s woeful entry into the arena of fragranced celebrity. My instincts were borne out by the reactions of other reviewers and also personal experience when I took Fame, and Madonna’s Truth or Dare, to an excited Japanese friend’s house and got her to guess, eyes shut, which one was which. And, naturally, tell me which one she preferred.

Madonna’s plastic tuberose won out – just – but Aiko was really shocked by the banality of the Gaga (“really? really?”) reminding her as it did of Shibuya teenage trash in the mid-nineties. Its cheapness truly astounded her.  My observation that Fame was not much above the level of Toilet Duck also bore interesting fruit during my summer travels: even on my first morning at Tokyo’s Narita airport I was astonished by how much the gap between personal and antimicrobial perfumery had closed. In other words, where once a woman may have smelled exquisitely, mysteriously- alluringly, for God’s sake –  of an inspired orchestration of high quality essences of flowers and fruit, mosses, woods resins spices – and any toilet she may have alighted upon would probably have smelled neutral, or else of disinfectants and pine, lemon soap or bleach –  a place to do one’s business in, but not to linger perchance –  right now, in this current age of cheap, functional perfumery, she and her throne might blend as one. An uncanny marriage of human and water closet, where the scents we give off are almost interchangeable. A whole new angle to eau de toilette.

The scents I experienced in airport lavatories – Tokyo,  Barcelona and Amsterdam, were all high grade – very pleasant as these things go, to let you dream and fend off the inevitable anxiety of flying in a metal tube across the world, to make the whole process just that little bit easier. The Narita ‘restrooms’ had a sweet, inviting little floriental smell very similar to Lady Gaga; Barcelona a rich, enveloping honey, and Amsterdam a pretty, if a touch harsh, serotonin-enhancing orange blossom that really wasn’t that far from  Palazzo by Fendi.

To clarify, I am not one of those who believe in basking in the scents of nature: as far as I am concerned toilets in all homes should be equipped with fine incense to dispel smells that no-one should ever have to be exposed to, and when it comes to public conveniences I favour the strongest aromachemicals in existence, rather than the collective stench that can arise in such places (some train stations in Japan take relieving oneself on a daily basis to the level of trauma ):  if they can actually smell pleasant to boot then that is great. And this functional perfumery I came across, where you almost sigh like a pervert at the urinal, really had developed in leaps and bounds.

The problem arose when I emerged from these places and I realized that the people around me, waiting with their trolleys and suitcases, smelled almost the same. Whether it is the fault of the big fragrance houses making those toilet scents just that little bit too expensive- smelling, or those same houses making their ‘high end’ commercial products smell a touch too piss-cheap, the effect was quite disturbing. When the two merge in your mind – person and toilet bowl –  you desperately just want to inhale fields of grass, forests, or natural air to escape – those sweet, noxious clouds in the context of a glass-sealed, airless airport can be almost sickening.

Judging from the women round me, thick, jaunty vanillic florientals à la Flowerbomb, Dior Addict, and their ilk are obviously the standard for the Europeans: pleasant, easy-sexy, if ultimately very vulgar, and as people wafted about me in the queue through immigration I realized to what extent these in-your-face formulae lack mystery (especially at 7am, when travellers are at their most stomach-churned and sleep deprived – a full on nightclub cleavage in your grill just as you have been trying to nibble on a piece of dry toast and coffee).

Coming into Duty Free the feeling was compounded by the stench of the trite and shallow ‘fragrances’ on offer by the main houses, those market-tested nasty-smelling things that can never elicit in me much more than irritated snarls. The new releases were so banal, or down right nasty – Ralph Lauren’s ‘Big Pony’ (idiot!!) series for ‘men’ and ‘women’ winning the prize for worst value for money –  such antagonizingly ugly rubbish – Christ I’d genuinely rather smell of the honeyed water closets of Barcelona.

Which brings me again to travel.

I had such a wonderful summer back in Europe (hence my rude and lengthy silence – apologies if you wondered if I had been swallowed up by a black hole, or, like some tragic ‘Little Monster’ taken my own life in despair over the abysmal quality of the Lady Gaga perfume. I didn’t  – in fact I have to confess that I was watching Almodovar’s trashy High Heels on Saturday night and as the pink and red melodrama hotted up I did find myself clamouring out for Fame  – something to match the cloy – and almost enjoyed it on my left arm, right during those tumultuous moments of high camp Spanish excess…I may still come round:  I am trying )

.. I must say though that despite all the aforementioned cheapness I also have many quality olfactory tales to tell. I did not, in fact, spend the whole time sniffing  toilets, but came across some beautiful creations, old and new, that really stimulated the palette; had some great perfume experiences, like meeting the creator of the Parfums de Rosine series, the lovely Francois Robert, and hearing the fascinating stories of his perfumed heritage (his father created one of my favourite perfumes of all time, Calèche – see my review – and Madame Rochas among many others;  his great uncle was the author one of my holy grails, the original Chanel 19…I sat listening to him quite rapt at Les Senteurs): interviewing Mark Buxton of Comme des Garçons about his new eponymous collection (to be published online in Aesop magazine very soon): treasures discovered in the troves of London perfumeries and the perfumerias of Barcelona, as well as things that had been lost at my parents’ house in Solihull (vintage Diorella!)

But what I realized for sure is this: with a few notable exceptions, in the current state of perfumery, if you want to smell more inspiring than a newly scrubbed bathroom, you will either have to trawl the flea markets or e-bay for vintage treasure, or else spend over 100 pounds for a good niche scent, of which there are many (although having said that I did buy Agua Fresca by Adolfo Dominguez(1993), a gorgeous, and very reasonably priced Spanish citrus men’s cologne that perfectly suited the hot city I was in while I was there, so economical purchases obviously still can be made if you look hard enough).

However, the general releases are, on the whole, getting more and more crass; less and less artistic and quality, and it seems that I was wrong to be overly harsh on my bleached muses, Madonna and Gaga for their sickly ‘creations’ – they are obviously, as always, just going along with the trends.

 

 

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SCHEIßE : FAME by LADY GAGA – a Tokyo story, August 2012

 

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‘Ceci est la formule de Fame……composée d’abricots pulverisés: coeurs ecrasés d’orchidées tigre…..et de larmes de belladonne………’

 

 

Dense, treacley substances ooze down over alien-sized apricots on borosilicate glass.

White, ghostly orchids beckon like witchcraft….

 

‘Black, like the soul of fame, but invisible, once airborne…..

 

 

 

Semi-naked, faceless technicians pour smoking black liquids into the test tubes for Lady Gaga’s perfume, at the ‘Haus Laboratories, in Paris…’

 

 

 

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A dark, Baudelairean cry of lust…Les Fleurs du Mal Bouteillées; the souls of orchids bottled in an oneirically alchemic process.

Technology (‘la premiere eau de parfum noire’) meets poetry.

That’s what Gaga and her cronies would have us believe, at least, taking advantage of her Little Monsters’ probable ignorance of all things perfumed, and deluging our souls with so much desire for this covetable mirage that our puny little hearts beat for it.

 

 

 

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I happen to be one of these sad acolytes. Having resisted the whole Poker Face Moment, happily smug in my knowledge that Our Lady was a fake, I ignored her until  I was pressed into listening to Speechless, with its aching 70’s nostalgia, then – good God – Bad Romance, which to me is one of the most blisteringly brilliant songs of the last ten years – an exultant piece of dance pop that sends the spirits soaring (at karaoke it can border on a religious experience) – and by then I was hooked. (Telephone! the perfect amalgamation of sound and vision! Beyoncé in the Kill Bill video! What could possibly be so nothing and everything at one and the same time? What FUN….) then, most recently, of course, the Born This Way album which has truly been a joy these last two years, songs like Scheiße having some of the most ecstatic hooks I have ever heard: the woman has absolutely nailed the pop song +  art of wily visual manipulation.

 

 

There are plenty of people I know who think Ms Germanotta IS a fake; all is just hype, momentary fashion collaborative genius with her partner in crime Nicola Formichetti. She simply sunk her fangs into the zeitgeist and kept them there….

I do not agree: I feel she is real: I know it. But a performer is not a perfumer, and I was embarrassingly naïve to imagine there could be a palpable connection between the singer and her scent, even as she claims it ‘comes from her blood’. The deliciously fictitious ‘laboratory’ (which I fear some poor fools will literally think is where and how this perfume is made – this is very good marketing…) shows those bare-chested, anonymous men at that phantasmagorical, Poe-like assembly line, but the reality behind the masks is a faceless line-up of Coty business executives and their unprecedented push of global promotion for a scent that is nothing without its campaign.

 

 

 

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I had to get my paws on a bottle.

Until then I could not know for sure if the perfume was as shit as I secretly feared it could be. But I couldn’t do that because I was working – and hundreds, possibly even thousands of Tokyo fans had already overrun the Tokyu Plaza building in Omotesando, the day the fragrance was launched – exclusively, in the whole world, in just that one place – TANTALIZINGLY CLOSE ( I live just an hour away), and I was terrified it might have sold out.  My better half Duncan went on my behalf, on a mission to the edge of glory, to get that scent and bring it home to me….

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The vicarious pleasure of knowing he was there in that diamond-faceted building was as sweltering as the temperature outside; surreptitious phone messages between us as the photographs flooded into my iPhone:

 

 

– You got it?

– You got a bottle?

 

 

…….yes.

 

 

 

– Really?!

 

 

……

 

 

 

 

– What’s it like?!!!!

 

 

 

 

…………….er, it’s a standard fruity floral ……

 

 

 

– Nothing special? Nothing at all?

 

 

………not really..

 

 

 

– But what about the saffron? WHAT ABOUT THE  PULVERIZED APRICOTS?

 

 

…….didn’t really get any of that.

 

 

–  Nothing?

 

 

– NOTHING?!!!

 

 

 

 

……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SURELY HE WAS WRONG. I was excited anyway, imagining that there might have been something in the ‘multi-tiered’ fragrance that Duncan had perhaps missed on just one cursory sniff; perhaps the ‘push and pull technology, by which the ingredients are mixed to highlight different aspects of each fragrant note at the same time, without any hierarchy’ had not allowed some of these precious notes to present themselves at that moment (isn’t self-delusion beautiful…?)

 

 

 

Perhaps he had only smelled the ‘honey drops’ and ‘light floral accord of Sambac jasmine and Tiger Orchid’, and not the incense and poisonous Belladonna said to lurk down beneath…I would draw them out when I got back home……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The saffron/peach/jasmine/incense idea has been done beautifully, and very strangely, by Pierre Montale in his obscure but gorgeous Velvet Flowers, which I think is a very original scent and wear occasionally in summer. The overdose of saffron in that perfume creates a hot, undulating sand veil of sensuality, and as I walked up the hill, singing Lady Gaga and anticipating something of the sort, blocking Duncan’s words from my head, I thought there must be something of that perfume in it……it might be a bit like the Montale.

 

 

 

 

THERE WILL BE SOMETHING.

 

 

 

…………………..

 

 

 

 

I got home.

 

 

I rushed into the kitchen.

 

 

 

There was the bag, designed with the black latex ad, and inside was the box. Lady Gaga Fame Black Fluid.

 

 

 

 

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I tore it open, clutched the alien egg bottle, sweat streaming down my body from the heat of the journey back home, and sprayed that black liquid onto my arm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

?

 

 

 

 

 

??

 

 

 

 

 

 

???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know this!

 

I know this smell already.

Surely. Those sweet, cloying American notes; that candy-cane peach, those cheap, synthetic ‘flowers’…what is it what is it?

 

 

 

 

 

FANTASY!

 

 

 

 

 

Britney Spears! Yes, it’s Britney revisited, made even more sugared; a cough-sputtering so-so Sambac and imaginary ‘orchid’ (you will find no mangled tiger orchid hearts, I promise you): just the same old same old same old…

 

 

Wait: the saffron…it must be there. Where is it where is it…

if I REALLY concentrate, yes, perhaps there somewhere in the background.

But incense?

No. And who knows what belladonna smells like except dead poets like Keats?

 

 

Just no.

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!! I bellowed.

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

 

And then heartfelt thanks to Duncan for sensibly buying the smallest 30ml bottle when I had said I wanted the so-called Masterpiece 100ml. He knew it was shit and had rightly stuck right by his instincts.

 

 

 

 

But wait.

 

 

 

 

Surely Gaga, who initially was said to be doing a cover of Etat Libre d’Orange’s shocking Secrétions Magnifiques (see my review), with its repellent notes of blood, sweat and sperm, would have brought out something different, original, shocking?

 

Could the supreme visualist be so lacking in that other, equally important sense? Or was she in fact barely involved in the ‘creative’ process at all?

 

 

 

I sprayed the room, I sprayed my arms; yes, I suppose it does just about add up to something; a Vanderbilt or Loulou for the 2010s, a fully formed perfume, just about, though mentioning those two sweet classics in the same sentence as this Black Swan-masquerading toilet duck feels almost blasphemous…

 

 

 

 

Fame doesn’t smell bad, it might even smell cute.

But it doesn’t have one ounce of originality, and the gaping void between style and substance has never been so mammoth.

In fact, it verges on genius, plugging up the lack of knowledge and self-confidence the general public has about scent with visual ploys and word-tricks that work beautifully.

 

We are beguiled by the lie, sold solely on the image: what we stupidly believe is a poisonous flower dripping honey and black magic, is a sweet, nasty nothing.

 

Like those ‘pulverized apricots’ I am crushed.

45 Comments

Filed under Apricot, Flowers, Fruit

“Come on Earle, we’ll be late for the arraignment” : : : : OPIUM (Yves Saint Laurent) (1977) VS CINNABAR (Estee Lauder) (1978)

 

 

 

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Plagiarism lawsuits don’t seem to occur in the world of perfumery, and this is probably good news for fragrance houses, else writs would be hurled left right and centre. As the exact formulae for perfumes are always very well guarded anyway (Estée Lauder phobically supposedly adding the final 5% of ingredients herself behind closed doors to ensure secrecy), intellectual theft in the invisible, ephemeral world of scent would just too much for jurors, judges and witnesses to handle –  the stench and olfactory confusion in a closed courthouse is easy, and quite hysterical, to imagine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Opium was a direct challenge to the insipid sport greens that were taking over the perfume world at the time, and in its criminally erotic complexity, was daring, of the moment; dynamic. So was Cinnabar, which was undoubtedly a copy of Opium. But there are important differences, which I will come to. Opium’s mandarin/jasmine/husking tiger’s breathamber-cinnamon template – gorgeously erotic and overwhelming in vintage parfum – was copied and remodelled, redeveloped with varying success in a number of perfume imitators until its swansong in 1983, when Karl Lagerfeld released the seminal (at least in my opinion) KL; this delicious, eighties spice fest shed some of the weight of the heavier oriental notes in Opium, kept the lingering florality and piquant spices, but flushed the whole with a wonderfully sunset orange top note that surrounded, dazzled the perfume within; it was perhaps this genre of perfume’sconceptual apogée.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Conversely, though obviously very much still an ‘oriental’ and close to Opium in style, Cinnabar was not a spice-laden camel on its weary back home to the souk, but a juggernaut pounding the highway back to Orlando. The first assault of this perfume- and it is an assault – from the thick, trusty bottle, is a sinus-twisting rush of incredibly strong citrus-spice, delved rudely in a flawless, caramellized tang of orange, carnation and that ‘rich divorcée’ accord that is the base of all of Lauder’s creations from Youth Dew to Spellbound. These scents  – such a mainstay of the Reagan generation – are not always to my taste, though I have to say they do mesmerize me, like the houses down the back streets of Beverly Hills – those fortresses of wealth draped in the U.S flag and Mexican vines; the darkness and silence of the living rooms hidden from sight in the blinding California sun.

 

 

 

 

Cinnabar packs the spices in and it packs ‘em in tight, over stickily suggestive balsams and woods that are bonded as a calyx, yet somehow not in the least bit sexy. I have the vintage Lauder on my one hand and vintage Opium parfum on the other as I write, and in comparison the latter is a panting carnal flower exhaling its last breath; languid jungle lovers in a post-coital, satisfied sleep. Its American counterpart can only imagine such abandon with a fierce, stomach-clenched jealousy. Though a very well constructed fragrance (that I think probably yields more than I am letting on here), there is always something so zipped up, conservative and ‘gated community’ about Cinnabar; wigs, not hair; dressed up not naked: an unyielding pair of lovingly pressed slacks that somehow forever evinces frustrated, unfulfilled sensuality.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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38 Comments

Filed under 'Orientals', Flowers, Spice

Eau de Camille by Annick Goutal (1983)

‘When I go into the glass houses and I see the strange plants of exotic lands, it seems to me that I enter into a dream.’ (Henri Rousseau)

 

 

 

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Annick Goutal’s simple but beautiful Eau de Camille is like one of Rousseau’s paintings. A primeval dawn of innocence where seringa flowers bloom and dew evaporates on giant leaves in the ten o’clock sun. A garden where quick young children hide in secret, dark-green places.

 

 

 

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18 Comments

Filed under Flowers, Grass, Green, Ivy, Perfume Reviews, Seringa

I KNOW YOU WANT ME: DIORLING by CHRISTIAN DIOR (1963)

 

 

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A very rare find, my eyes almost popped out on stalks of amazement when I saw Diorling standing there impassively and forlorn, neglected by perfume-blind passersby at the Sunday Shinagawa flea market. Didn’t the seller standing obliviously at his stand know that bids for this perfume start at extortionate prices on e-bay? Did he not know that some perfumistas would be clawing each other’s eyes out to get their hands on a bottle of this rare and rarified creature?..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dior Diorling and other Dior fragrances vintage 1955 ad (hprints.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

The feeling of discovering these long forgotten treasures is, as you know,  one of the most constantly nerve-crackling moments of my life. One that never fails to send my red blood cells, anaemic from a week of too much reality, writhing and thickening with adrenaline. Perfume REVIVES me, like a vampire right after a feed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the past, during my expeditions among the various recycle shops and fleamarkets here,  I have come across countless vintage Carons;  a Guerlain Ode extrait;  oodles of Chanel parfums, and things I had never even known the existence of, such as Quiproquo de Grès (a lemon-leaf reinterpretation of Cabochard) and the exquisite Michelle by Balenziaga ,my avaricious thrill of clutching my Diorling (‘Mine!  Mine!! ! MINE !!’!  !) being childishly tempered, only slightly, upon then finding that the perfume had, at Roja Dove’s request, been made available again at the Harrod’s Haute Parfumerie, along with the legendary Diorama. It was thus not quite as precious or as exclusive a find as I initially thought. However, debate has raged over how tame the recent Dior reformulations have been: this edition is definitely the original, dirty-elegant dissipation from 1963. And while the top notes may have deteriorated slightly ( I am not getting much of the muguet/rose said to be in the blend), you would hardly know it; you would also hardly imagine it to be designed for a woman. Like  Cabochard, this type of chypre is a category of scent that in dry down is irrevocably bi-sexed: suave, nonplussed and wordly on a man as it is on a woman.

 

 

 

 

 

A shrewd creature dressed in tweed and satin and wearing Diorling could have a room in the palm of their hand.

 

 

 

 

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Luca Turin once wrote of  ‘parfums fatigués’, those sly, ironic scents with hints of overripe melon and a whiff of decay; scents that reek, basically, of decadence, even death. Diorella (1972) is one such scent – a brilliant mix of fresh/stale; clean/dirty, at once citric and animalic. Dior somehow mastered this type of scent better than anyone else, Guerlain included – that regally supercilious Parisian paradox of chic and fromage.  Even the angelic Diorissimo has that corrupted aspect somewhere in the heart of its innocence; that depth and knowing. These scents have such style:  a true, fuck-you grace that can be almost daunting. And Diorling is of course possessed of similarly exquisite taste; restrained, low-registered, composed, but, if required, quite ready to pounce. I see it on the incestuous matriarch of Visconti’s ‘The Damned’, contemptuously lowering her lacquered eyelids, her half-forgotten, ever-present cigarette……. invincible, magnificent. That is, before her destruction at the hands (and body) of her son, played with malevolent disdain by the beautiful, and ice-hearted Helmut Berger.

 

 

 

The cruel vulnerability of a scent that tries to reason with your emotions even while dominating them. The laconic orange blossom;  peach-tinted flowers layering a subtlely spiced, wood-bedded scent laced with tobacco and patchouli that then softens to a complex, secretive series of moments (who was the Japanese woman that owned this perfume? Why did she discard such a treasure  at a flea market?); gives nothing away, titillates you with visions of times forever gone.

 

 

 

 

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35 Comments

Filed under Chypre, Leather, Perfume Reviews