so tired ………. so very fucking happy

A cafe that is next to an Indian restaurant I just went to after work alone to celebrate the political demise of this unconscionably heinous carcass of a pouting ex-casino lowlife


It is all over. At least for a while. And the windbag will naturally run out of steam, be deflated, now that it is not in the hot seat.

I am exhaustedly elated. For the world. For myself. Although I have been told recently that I have been overreacting (like hundreds of millions of other people who have been in an unbearable, unrelenting state of tension, as that is the power of this ingenious instigator of cortisol ), in my own view – despite admitting I have almost gone crazy over it all – this is emphatically not the case.

Yes, from the Japanese or UK standpoint, in other words at the national/ one person micro level, this might all just be all far away and irrelevant, just American Politics, not close to the bone. But for me, at the personal, macro, general humanity level, it has all represented something far realer, insidiously dangerous ; the approach of a new neo-fascism – an unfathomably ludicrous shallow banacrocy :and even more importantly, an incredibly terrifying (and for me utterly unforgivable) denial and re-ordering of what constitutes reality ( if he had succeeded in his admittedly outrageously, almost impressively audacious gambit, ignoring election results, and denying the popular vote, this could have become the norm all over the world and led to the end of democracy as we know it, let alone an Orwellian oppression of reconstituted ‘news’ and ‘alternative facts’ and ‘information’ (there was a reason that 1984 became a bestseller as soon as he was elected); something I find repulsive, and deeply petrifying, in the very marrow of my inner being. It would have been like dominoes : all of us would ultimately have fallen( been eventually negatively affected. Of this I have no doubt.

As documented before in earlier posts,, I am not sure of my religious or spiritual beliefs. But for all I know, we could be reincarnated within any national boundary : as a man or a woman, or any gender of any societal placing or ethnicity (which is what any books on the subject always say – people were a completely unexpected human in a previous life and which makes me deplore racism and all nationalism than I already did): I believe that we all come from the same place, ultimately: and who would want then to be reborn into a spiritless place, into a zone of futile and vacuous, meaningless Twitter hatred shackled senselessly by a McDonalded, conscience-less dictator (because make no mistake ; the actions and the events of the last few hideous weeks have demonstrably shown us that that is exactly what he is: a wannabe Robert Mugabe or Putin or fill in any dictator gap – it is such a, boring, well trodden psychological trope – just on an unimaginably richer scale : charlatan, a vacuum of a spoilt little infantile asshole that just happened to have come into possession of quite mindblowingly destructive, hitherto unknown capabilities. No, this was an administrative cancer this that HAD to be removed before it was too late.

THANK GOD

THANK GOD !

Yes, he will continue to rant and rave ( but I will not : I hope that this can be my last word on the stupid subject and I can get back to some semblance of how things were on The Black Narcissus before : I can’t bear for any more wasted space in my head to be taken up by this crude and abased, foot -stomping boot-stained orange toddler).

Yes, he might establish TrumpNews for his lamentable fans; yes, he might personally become a ‘kingmaker’ for all future potentially Republican autocrats, and yes he might still attempt to dominate our minds as he has done for half a decade ( or far longer, depending on the way that you look at it), but the point is he WON’T BE THE PRESIDENT.

He is already, instantly diminished.

And, as the Trump so finely once said himself, if he loses this election (which he has…… FINALLY: hallefuckinglujah!!! ) he will probably just disappear :::::: and ‘you will probably never hear from me again’.


Just retreat, while harrumphing, back to Mar El Lago.

This really did tell us everything.

He never cared about the people.

He never cared about anything .

And I think even himself.

It was all just a power trip. A narcissistic tantrum. A piece of astonishingly potent and mindfuckingly intense (and in many ways highly impressive) cynical, and from the future perspective, probably hilarious, evil performance art.

Clap fuckity clap.

But for the time being : fuck you Donald : really.

I can’t wait for 2021.

Congratulations to America.

Congrstulations to the entire world.



It’s a new day.

41 Comments

Filed under Flowers

41 responses to “so tired ………. so very fucking happy

  1. I don’t know a person in NYC who isn’t fucking happy. Oh frabjous day!!!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. Katie

    As someone on Twitter put it: “Biden’s won in Michigan so many times he’s legally required to change his name to Ohio State.”

    I’m wearing Guerlain’s Acqua Teazzurra again today because it, like the incoming administration, is blue.

  3. Tara C

    Totally agree with your sentiments and thoughts. The best thing that could happen is for the news media to totally ignore him, never mention his foul name again, so that he sinks into oblivion. Just like not naming terrorists, to avoid giving them the attention and publicity they so crave.

    • A perfect analogy.

      Please just let us savour this delirious moment.

      HURRAH .

      HURRAHURRAHURRAHURRAH !!!

      I have enjoyed 2020 in certain ways despite the shitness – but Jesus : enough is enough

  4. Tora

    I am so RELIEVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. What perfume could do this riddance justice? !!

    • Katie

      The day the election was first called I wore Jardins de Bagatelle. It was unseasonably warm here, gorgeous sunny day 70F. It was perfect. Everyone was out in Boston that night eating outdoors and cars would go by with Biden flags or funny signs and everyone would cheer.

  6. I finally feel hopeful again. It has been far too long. I am just worried about what may happen when the next election happens in four years, his cult is still out there.

  7. Robin

    What you said.

    To be this sociopathic dictator’s next door neighbour for four years of worsening ugliness was pretty bloody fraught. Also, to be neighbours with, what, 70-something MILLION people who wanted him to continue for a second term?!?! Who would throw democracy under the bus for that tyrannical dangerous lunatic? I don’t know who or which is scarier.

    In the middle of the night I drowned myself in Elie Saab Essence No 1 Rose and finally had a good night’s sleep. Hallefuckinglujah indeed.

  8. You have put in writing all of my thoughts and emotions for the past four plus years! I cannot tell you how much angst I have had for the past 1,460 days.
    It will be a relief to not see his face nor listen to his rantings. I feel like I have beaten a terrible disease that has wracked my life and my being. Good riddance to 2020 and especially 45.

  9. Mingzhe Wang

    Good riddance! Biden will have a lot of work to do, but I am so looking forward to seeing no orange man shouting from the white house!

    • Anything but that. All that NOISE. Let the more normal diplomats and politicians get on with my jobs and their lives. and let me get on with mine without having my head constantly stuffed up with total crap every day : it has been HORRIBLE.

  10. Robin Wright

    I feel such an overwhelming sense of relief, a lightness of being; as if America has finally come to her senses after a long period of darkness. To celebrate I am wearing the lush and beautiful Fleur 09 by Maria Christofolis.

  11. I agree. I’m exhausted. It’s not over yet, we have to flip the Senate. January 5, 2021.

    • For me, that really is American politics; not my area. I am not going to think about it. I hope it works out of course but I can’t be dragged down any more. It is just imperative that that man be removed

  12. Z

    Ah, would that it were so easy… It is as though a particularly nasty tick has been removed, yes, albeit from a deeply mangy dog.

    Definitely hoping to expatriate someday, hearing about the horrors of US imperialism from *outside* of the US seems like it has less of a sting.

    • Can I ask where you are from?

      No one is going to rain on my parade about this though – for me it is wonderful.

      • Z

        Born and raised in the US, fully steeped in the “culture”, though from a Mexican-American lens.

        I’m glad!! I think if I stayed away from social media for a few days I would feel like celebrating too. There’s just too much.

  13. OnWingsofSaffron

    I‘m a bit late here, yet: yes, YES!
    I feel exactly the way you put it! Just listening/ reading the sane, presidential words Biden speaks relaxes me. I feel like phewww, exhale, inhale, exhale— slowly, deeply!!
    Being too late I can‘t remember what I wore when.
    But just to cleanse the atmosphere, to drive out the demons, to exorcise the evil… I have opted right now for extra generous sprays of Serge Noire!

  14. Tom H.

    I really enjoyed this piece. I wrote extensively about his stupid threats in 2011, even more in 2015-16, which then became reality and thoroughly shut me down until the last few weeks. The monster had flung open the door, belched, farted, and immediately began tearing everything up. I too, have thought deeply at the level of potential reincarnation. I have no children, and at 60 will be out of here soon enough, but I have a very personal view as to one of the highest values of America. For all its faults, now compounded and exacerbated so nastily in just a few years, U.S. America has had, and hopefully still will have, the grand effect of a being a sensuous amusement park of overabundance for human wants and desires. In essence, my own spiritual pursuits revolve around moderating or rejecting most of the consumerist shit always on display. Systemic control always fails to bring contentment, while expanding freedom offers abounding opportunities to choose, possess–or, let go of, ALL THIS– and that posture, I believe, is the truest glory of my country. I obviously still have my obsessions and over-purchases( scents, sometimes clothing), but I feel in a good spot overall with balance and minimal striving after money, power, and social esteem. Emptiness and lack cause a desire for too much, it seems, and having so many possibilities from which to choose, or not choose, still means something to my soul. I have pondered deeply about the thought of America becoming an empty vacuum of manipulated reality– and who would ever want to come back (reincarnate) to THAT? I’ve long abhorred the nationalistic histories of fascism, and to see it happening in America was one hell of a stress. As I morosely thought in early 2017, ”there’s no one coming to save us.” Of course, I’m the type of American who believes criticism of national wrongs is the most patriotic act one may deliver. The fool hasn’t stopped trying to kill it all yet, but as some have concluded, it seems the unending bellow is possibly just a final grift of the masses more than anything. Thank God he was so stupid. Another more smooth coming next time would just about jab a fork in.The fear is real. A good chunk of America is literally insane. As I wrote last week in reference to Mike Flynn… “ This is the fuel that burns hell’s parties.” Thank you again, for all you do.

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