Monthly Archives: December 2012

DUMBO DUMBO : L’ELEPHANT by KENZO (1996)

 

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We have been  talking recently about signature scents, whether of Hollywood stars or just ourselves, and this excessive treat by Kenzo, which is still going strong, was definitely one of mine.

 

It is a milestone of sorts: the first ‘women’s’ scent I wore with pride, and also a marker of the first years of my time in Japan, when everything was new, exciting and disorientating and I would return to England periodically laden with incense and stories of my experiences, reeking (no, reeking, really) of L’Eléphant. If there is any scent my friends associate with me, it is probably this flamboyant creation, which somehow, for a while,  suited me perfectly.

 

I even wore it to work all the time, unaware at that point of the suffering I was probably causing……

 

 

One of my nicknames growing up, which I never liked, was Nelly The Elephant (along with Neil, Neil orange peel, or lemon peel, or whatever peel you like, any chantable derivative of my name) : yet, ironically, for a time I then eventually end up being synonymous with a perfume actually called elephant, a scent I would wear in unbearably huge amounts, and even deliberately spray on people’s walls when I was staying for the night at their houses, taking the perfume association thing to ludicrous levels of self-importance (you WILL smell me and remember me even when I am not there: I will haunt you with the presence of my long, vanilla-kissed trunk…..)

 

 

 

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It was always hilarious, though, I must say, to be asked

 

‘Wow, what perfume are you wearing?’

 

and be able to answer

 

 

‘Elephant!’

 

 

…a perfume so intense it actually burns human skin (mine in any case……I always had red patches from the absurd concentration of sensitizing spices and ylang.. and Japanese Parisian aroma chemicals…….maybe it would suit the skin of the great pachyderm itself better: : : : : : : : great runs of cardamom-scented elephants charging across the savannahs and plains, scaring off the yelping cheetahs and lions with gigantic clouds of ylang ylang and patchouli

 

 

 

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….a  perfume that, quite understandably, still has a small posse of enthusiasts across the world who keep it in production (Le tigre, which I also loved, is now unfortunately extinct)…..

 

 

No. The Elephanters truly love its plummy, Christmas cake excesses: its spiced, inspiriting intensity, but more importantly the fact that it elicits such positive, even wild reactions from others (especially in its closing stages). I have practically caused stampedes, wearing this perfume;  I distinctly remember the first time I debuted the perfume in a bar in Yokohama, and people were all over me, women especially, sniffing my neck wantonly, excited by its effluvium of everything in the poacher’s kitchen sink.

 

 

 

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With a great, bellowing, fanfare, the sweetest ylang ylang flowers; cumin, cardamom and mandarins trumpet savagely from the skin, a perilous stage you have to endure before you begin to wade through the massive, uninhabitable jungle to reach that delicious main theme, which is a rich, buttery accord of vanilla, patchouli and a huge dollop of liquorice.

 

 

 

Gorgeous and grotesque in equal measure, this really is a fun scent to wear out once in a while, but only in cold weather lest you be cloyed to death.

 

 

On the wrong, sweaty, hot and greasy day, Elephant is nothing short of an atrocity.

 

 

 

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I have had friends who have absolutely loved the scent on me (the closing stages) and then tried it on themselves, only to screech in distress at the initial toxic shock and run like crazy to the nearest source of water and soap. My current big bottle comes from a friend who bought it based on how I smelled, was appalled when he tried it on himself, and immediately handed it over to my willing, grabbing hands.

 

 

 

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53 Comments

Filed under Liquorice, occasionally sickening scents, Orientals, Patchouli, Perfume Reviews, Spice Orientals, Vanilla, Ylang Ylang

NOT HILARY SWANK: INSOLENCE by GUERLAIN (2006)

 

 

In its attempt to reach a younger audience, and to rid that most poetic flower of its timid, knees-clenched legacy, Guerlain audaciously chucked a synthetic neon-violet cannonball at department stores back in 2006. It was a funky, monstrous thing I immediately knew would be a flop (especially given the choice of Hilary Swank for the ad campaign, which to me felt totally ill-matched..)

 

 

But I was wrong.

Apparently Insolence has had its fair share of takers, and the scent now has its place assured in the Guerlain mainstream line-up, targeted primarily at a younger audience who will presumably later then grow into the illustrious stable’s grands classiques. Maybe it’s the sense of Guerlain’s Finest Moments  re-segued for the modern age (the marzipan of L’Heure Bleue; the powdery iris-violet of Après L’Ondée; the vanilla sexy of Shalimar, cleverly concealed within the caterwauling mix…) but it all felt so totally wrong yet ever so strangely familiar….

 

 

 

 

 

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On top we have:

 

pink, purple and red laminated ra-ra skirts of lacquered, lacquered violets (the eau de toilette famously beginning with an indigestible, raucous Indian hair spray note that really takes you by surprise): then, a back-of-your-throat sheen of plastic red fruits: red currants, red apples, and all manner of other synthetic fruits rouges whirly-gigging frantically about the glo-stick violets…..but if you survive the hilarious first ten minutes of Insolence, as  you careen about from all the scintillating lacquer that is pinking up the oesophagus, you can actually have a lot of fun with this party-crashing violet

 

 

( for me, in truth, part of the very enjoyment of this scent is that opening, as it does what the name suggests: shock, slightly, with its brash impudence. The ‘reformed’ woman of the eau de parfum, for which another perfumer was roped in to apparently smooth things over, and where everything is blended just… so to make this lady smoother and more palatable to a wider mainstream audience, is to me so….. bustily bourgeois: more wearable yes, and more seamless, but with a slight suggestion of feminized lobotomy – though that might be somewhat overstating it.)

 

 

In Maurice Roucel’s more ‘vulgar’ original edt, Insolence has a girl’s- night-out vibe: shrill, fun, and very loud in a slightly late eighties/early nineties manner. It gradually dies down, though, to a perfectly nice vanilla-violet perfume with softer, blurrier, gourmand edges, those traditional notes of the Guerlinade base, that really let you know that despite all the ‘acting out’ of the perfume’s foot-stomping opening, THIS IS A GUERLAIN,  and that the girl in question fully intends, at a pre-destined age, to follow unquestioningly in the faultlessly chic footsteps of her immaculate, Jardins de Bagatelle wearing maman.

35 Comments

Filed under Floriental, Flowers, Perfume Reviews, Violet

In our melancholy twilight: LE DIX by BALENCIAGA (1947)

 

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I have had two full vintage bottles of Balenciaga’s classic Le Dix, both of which I gave to people I knew would cherish and wear it more than I ever could (there is still one small, perfect bottle of the eau de toilette upstairs somewhere for reference, but I myself am simply not built for this pallor….)

 

 

 

I adore smelling it on a woman so much more – on alabaster skin; a wrist concealed beneath a coat…..

 

 

 

 

 

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In vintage parfum especially, Le Dix is timeless and beautiful; an almost mournful scent of chalk-white powder, musk; and a cool, dust-laden quality like an old French library in November.

 

 

 

 

Haunting, sad violets (pale, thoughtful; quietly rapturous) are sorrowfully captured in the fading dusk, as light filters through thick, stained glass…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Such rarified feminine wistfulness was not destined to last in this world of ours, and one can see why Balenciaga would choose to freshen up and ‘purify’ Le Dix for the modern audience. In any case, the current version is quite captivating, a stunning violet aldehyde with sparkling citrus top notes that you should try if you like others of its type (as a cooler, more contemplative Nº5)…

 

 

 

The reformulation of Le Dix has a certain sparkling uplift, vivacious, elegant and great for the evening and grand events. But for pure poetry, the vintage  – so fine, so knowing and wildly introverted – is inescapable.

 

 

 

 

 

48 Comments

Filed under Floral Aldehydes, Flowers, Perfume Reviews, Powder, Violet

The bewitched carnations : DIAMOND WATER & GOLCONDA by JAR (2001)

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That reclusive, nebulous jeweller of perfumery, Joel Arthur Rosenthal ( or ‘JAR’ to use his acronym ), has a very dark and cryptic boutique just off the Place Vendôme in Paris, swathed in black and borderline vaudeville, that radically changes the way in which perfume is presented.

A very theatrically-rendered thunder bolt painted across the ceiling of this perfumery announces you have entered a fragrant world of showmanship, as you sheepishly pull back the curtains and the perfume show begins….

 

 

 

But first to the scents themselves. Rosenthal seems to have quite a thing for cloves and carnations (as do I), and his powdery, opoponax/incense carnation creation, Diamond Water, is quite alluring. It is a rich and decadent floral, with rose; tuberose perhaps (they will reveal nothing), possibly cinnamon, and honey-drenched luminous white lilies over santal. Very intense – some would say foul – and lurid, even, but at least these JAR fragrances never bore (they are really quite intensely unfathomable), and for the jaded perfume lover this point is important.

 

 

But prior to all this, as I said before, to get to one of these hallowed creations, it is necessary for you to have the INITIATION EXPERIENCE, in which the assistant, steeped in a rather pained ‘mystery’, seemed to think he was auditioning for a re-make of Eyes Wide Shut (with neither the requisite Kubrickian charisma nor indeed the acting skills, to carry it off), I, myself,  on the verge of intense irritation with the absurd levels of gravitas allotted these sickly oils, as though I were about to inhale the sacred and liquified remains of the holy mother….

 

 

They lie waiting, nameless.

You are seated at the table, like an audience awaiting a trick by Houdini.

 

The  magician – po-faced, puffed up, elegantly besuited –  will lift the glass spheres under which the perfumes lie.

He will waft (ludicrously, ludicrously!) the scent under your nose, and will brook no questioning.

 

 

You ask what’s in the perfume: nothing. Just an enigmatic, or what he imagines is enigmatic, smile. You try and smile back, wondering where this all is going while trying to prevent your eyeballs from rolling back in their head; look about you at the other shoppers who have wandered in on this scene, their hands obediently placed quietly in their laps, eyes lowered…

 

 

 

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JAR perfumes are apparently a plaything for the rich jeweller whose boutique is just down the road on the main square. This is just his hobby (can you imagine!!) and I am extraordinarily envious at a person being able to indulge such a passion with that kind of money, to attempt to elevate the entire experience of perfume-sampling with this rabbit-out-of-hat, white-gloved roleplay (just for the fun of it!)

 

 

Yet monsieur is apparently not a trained perfumer, and I personally think it shows.  The smells are all so drenched in themselves (and quite frankly, weird) they can be quite difficult to appreciate, even though it is very apparent that they are made with high quality, natural  materials (carnations, tortured in the dungeons down below in the streets of Paris by a sadistic perfumed sorcerer?  Juiced of their absolutes, depleted and tossed out onto the streets – wilting, translucent husks sighing their last breaths…….?)

 

 

This creation, which has very good reviews from some writers for what they see as its dazzling handling of carnations (see the Non-Blonde’s take on it – she finds it elegant and emotive), is certainly a welcome addition to the small family of carnation scents, and I can’t say that I would refuse a bottle exactly if someone gave me one, but if you do decide to go to the … (dare I call it a shop?)…… to the locus of these shenanigans – which I recommend you do just for the fun of it – but woe betide you if you attempt to touch anything there – and you  like the smell of these clovey blooms, be warned that you will have to hand over rather a lot of money.

At least two hundred pounds, if I remember correctly, which is quite a lot when you think about it, for  a bunch of white carnations.

 

 

 

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If Diamond Water is a white carnation tribute, then ‘Golconda’ (either a ruined ancient city in India, apparently, or a painting by Magritte) is the red –  thousands of them, surrendered beautifully in a piquant floral oil slick. An ultra-intense perfume that employs actual carnation absolute – rare in perfume – over other floral absolutes and cloves (lots, lots of them), this is a carnation like no other.

 

 

No top notes, no progression, just an extravagant, spiced elixir….

33 Comments

Filed under Carnation, Flowers, Perfume Reviews