Monthly Archives: April 2020

KISS ME AND YOU WILL SEE HOW IMPORTANT I AM : : : : MISS BALMAIN BY BALMAIN (1967)

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Miss Balmain was the last official creation by the French genius Germaine Cellier (1909- 1976 – pictured above), a sweet, bitter, ‘devious’ leather whose facade  – quaint floral tinctures of every stripe — carnation, orris, narcissus, jasmine, fifties’ gardenia and of course lily-of-the-valley, bouquet rush-wrapped in citric, coriander-laced green aldehydes – almost syrupy, kneedling – quite My Heart Belongs To Daddy sung by Marilyn Monroe – belies a much more ‘intelligent’, dry, leather base. With coumarins, tonka and amber used to smooth out this tight-waisted, but ample-figured blend before the modishly cigarette-swanning vetiver/ patchouli phenolic cuir of the final, long lasting accord of the vintage parfum takes over, this is certainly something of a bipolar perfume – much more rebellious and independent than it might initially appear.

 

 

 

 

 

While I definitely prefer Jolie Madame  – I just can’t help it as it is just so…….on the ball; sharp and clever and devilishly sexy with its violets-for-your-furs and taut leather; its gentlemanly overtures  (I found both of my divine Balmain bottles, eight years ago, on the same day in Tokyo – such a find!), I also personally like Miss Balmain better than the far more audacious, torridly dark-leather whip of Bandit (1944)

 

 

 

 

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– one of Ms Cellier’s most deservedly famous creations that I respect, but which for me is just too ‘old school forties’; hard, and peevish as cold ashes. Still, alongside the marvellous Vent Vert(1947) and Fracas (1948), considered all together this is really quite the most incredible triumvirate of precious, but vastly differing perfumes ( a violet leather; one of the freshest, greenest strange, perfumes ever made, and the tuberose of all time, respectively)  – always containing this enigmatic perfumer’s wry, almost obstinately intractable signature.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Miss Balmain, from the very first moment I smelled it, immediately reminded me of The Bell Jar: (1963) Sylvia Plath’s inextinguishable, semi-autobiographical treatise on the black chasm between the bustling commercial post-war boom years of New York, where things were on the up and the Future was American all big band trombones and diners and cocktails – and the inner realities of a singularly sensitive, poetic individual with an arch sensibility and increasingly severe mental illness (or possibly just reacting to her circumstances) ;  ‘living her dream’ working at a publishing house in The Big City with great chances ahead of her, but inside… bleak, lonely, trapped inside her suffocating  ‘bell jar’ of limitation and suicidal oppression.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Though created – or at least released – in 1967, Miss Balmain is not as iconoclastic as Cellier’s earlier work – less coutured Parisian punk……. more well to do in some ways; bourgeois. The sixties was a time of neo-classicism in perfumery – Calèche, Capricci ; Madame Rochas; Climat; Guerlain’s exquisitely well behaved Chant D’Arômes, as well as the more controlled and chic leathers like Diorling; it would take until the Seventies for the tiger skin hippie chic to take over with its caravanserai of spice and patchoulis, and the contrasting white Farrah Fawcett tennis-wear slightly louche green sports fragrances ; to me, Miss Balmain in truth always smells more like the decade before it was created, the 1950’s, the time of Jolie Madame (1953) – after all, the perfumer – older, perhaps ‘wiser’, at 58, who knows, may have mellowed in her habits and tastes and wanted to create something more ‘mature’ or else even a throwback to her younger days. This perfume would not have been fresh and new for the times; it is smooth and unctuous; definitely ‘later period’ and not deliberately sharp or perfectedly jagged like some of her earlier work; to me it has always smelled like a cache of strawberry candy stored somewhere in the pouch of  a well-loved leather bag. Cloakrooms and hats. Coats. Furs. As such, I always thought it  fit perfectly the image of Doreen, Bell Jar protagonist Esther Greenwood’s closest acquaintance in her hectic, high octane work place with her ebullient, ‘naughty’, if still conformist personality: a ray of light in Esther’s black, muddled cave of isolation; someone fun to gossip with at the coffee shop round the corner in the latest fashions, doused in an endearing, cute – if animalistic – ‘man -magnet’ perfume to speculate fondly on their love lives together ; the office it girl with her typical preoccupations and the lost intellectual; smelling precisely of the moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The 1950s. How you view this time period (and the 1960s, and any decade) will obviously depend on your age, your predilections, interests, and tastes. For me, while fully historically aware of the terrible horrors that were shortly to ensue, I am naturally drawn, and always have been, to the turning of the decade from the 1910’s through the 1920’s and the beginning of the 1930’s: Man Ray, the surrealists, the Ballets Russes (Germaine Cellier also frequented artists like Jean Cocteau and was part of that circle); my ultimate time-travel dream, I think, would be to go to the opening night of a Stravinsky ballet in Paris, such as the Rite Of Spring or Petrushka. You know I would have been on the firm side of the modernist rabid enthusiasts, shouting in ecstasy at the savage Russian beauty of the instinctual, stabbing music celebrating the consecration of the earth in completely new sounds and sonic structures, and not the mothball outraged traditionalists,  ripping up their velvet seats and throwing their tired opera glasses in fury at the stage.  Or else it could have been the 70s, when I grew up happily as a child, but didn’t get to live – not in that way, anyway (take me to the Disco; let me headbang in leather at a Motörhead concert the way my long haired elder cousins did.) All of which means, I suppose that I like it looser; creative; less restrictive. While some people, whether in rose-tinted glasses or not, might retrospectively look back to The Fifties as being a ‘happier time’, when things more ‘simple’, when men were men and women were women and the family unit was as rock solid as a nuclear bunker, my own probably very stereotyped image of the 1950s is that it was a time of trapped suburban housewives relying on ‘mothers little helpers’ to get them through the severe boredom of the day waiting for their husbands to come home in secret despair; deep racism; a time of great oppression generally, especially for people like me ( and thus also Germaine Cellier, whose sexuality is said to have overtly influenced her perfume style); a time when you had to hide. Or be punished. By society. Across the domestic threshold. At school. So many people curtailed; Esther Greenwood,  alias Sylvia Plath, a woman of extreme intelligence, also trapped morbidly inside the void of a lack of real opportunities and the chemical imbalances of her overworking head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Like Frances Farmer, the actress who was eventually lobotomized at the behest of her mother and the film company she was cruelly tethered to, ostensibly for paranoid schizophrenia, but – if we are to believe the premise of the harrowing film Frances starring Jessica Lange – to reign in her personality, and strong political  beliefs,

 

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I also had a translator friend in New Zealand, someone who died last year,  who lived through a terrible, isolated and painful childhood; and who, because of her supposed ‘sexual deviancy’, only just escaped legal mandatory electroconvulsive shock therapy in the place that she grew up – the very treatment that The Bell Jar’s heroine ultimately is compelled to endure in order to ‘shock’ her out of her ‘doldrums’ (yet ironically rendering her more docile and ‘under the membrane’; trapped, like a butterfly on a pin, under glass   – than ever before.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The 1950s, for me, I am sure would have been a time of unbearable, clandestine living.  Conservative; judgemental, hypocritically ‘moral’; the excited avariciousness for brand new electrical appliances. Cold war hysteria. Hatred of The Other. UFO abductions. I would have been hunted and shamed out of gay bars; if born American, assumed a ‘communist’; tarred. Blighted. Suffocated. No wonder people went apeshite in the sixties. I would have done too. Yes, the fixed gender roles might have been more legible and more black and white and easy to understand for people back in that time  (which is why there is currently a movement in the UK and elsewhere towards some women unironically adopting specifically this classic homebaking housewife mode of living as a backlash to the gender revolution we are undergoing now; a kind of ‘back to basics’ aproned femininity that people on the left will attack mercilessly, but which I think I can probably understand).  All of this is complicated. I do not claim to be able to deeply understand the precise nuances of all heterosexual interaction: I don’t know; some people possibly do need a more typically polar male/ female experience for whatever reasons; learned, sexual, cultural, psychological; ‘moral’ – who am I to judge if it is a mutually satisfying situation –  but such people certainly would have been far better off living back in a time when these roles  – where submission and ‘feminine wiles’ were a given , and the breadwinner ruled the roost  and branded the belt   – were so much more rigidly assigned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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People such as myself rebel at the cellular source level against the very idea of any kind of strictures or enforced modes of behaviour that feel unnatural. You have to reject. And assert your right to be in the picture, as you are. Not hidden. I think that Germaine Cellier’s lesbian outsider status and innate and visionary olfactory perception allowed her to circumvent the limitations of masculine/feminine perfumery in her age; to bring a much needed and futuristic Shock Of the New. To be true to her image of what a perfume should smell like; a sealed, liquid treasure to enhance all our complex facets; to bring out different elements simultaneously. This morning (how lucky I feel I am to live in this time, this age, even taking into account the current difficulties), wearing the vintage extrait of Miss Balmain, I suddenly realized for the first time that I had in fact been wrong about The Bell Jar and Doreen. As the keen but supple leather of the boisé base, more erotic –  yet also more dignified than I remember – interacted gradually on my skin, I came to see that the perfume is far more intriguing and complicated than I had given it credit for prior to this wearing. On me, ‘Miss Balmain’ smells manly to just the right degree once the initial stupor in pink has dissipated its way into the coffee and cream coloured clouds; darker;  more mordantly thoughtful. Layered. Deeper. More like Esther Greenwood, in fact  –   or even Sylvia Plath.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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39 Comments

Filed under Leather

THE MAGIC OF BAY LAUREL: : : POT POURRI by SANTA MARIA NOVELLA (1828) + BAY RUM by GEO F. TRUMPER (1888)

 

 

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I have been cooking a lot with laurel bay leaf these past few weeks. Our own plant has been struggling, but there is a big tree on the street that I pinch branches off at night. Although the fresh leaves are said to be too pungent and bitter, I don’t find that to be the case; the leaves are small, and beautifully fragrant, and I like to use them either dried or straight from the source. I like them in profusion: sometimes up to, or more than ten leaves (or even more: I adore this taste). You end up picking them out of my stews and sauces at the end of the meal – I am finding that a garlic/ fresh rosemary-from-the-front garden ground down / salt / sugar olive oil base with all the right tomatoes – fresh, and in purees, and then bay leaves added (I also love paprika – I made a very heartwarming Hungarian goulash type thing the other night which we gulped down greedily like children in Hansel and Gretel)  – creates an almost savoury perfumed deliciousness that I can’t quite imagine achieving with other herbs  – I personally can’t stand too much basil / tarragon / marjoram / fennel / parsley / oregano for example. Laurel leaves are more complicated in their aromatic makeup, with hints of thyme, and sage  – hence their use in the classic bouquet garni  –  but there is something sweetly floral about them – a hint of almond blossom, something almost liquorous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Italy, there is in fact a popular digestivo made solely from laurel leaves macerated in alcohol – liquore di alloro-  a Northern Italian equivalent of the French Chartreuse,  which by law can only be made by the monks who originally perfected the recipe of 130 different botanicals used in secret to create the legendary medicinal curative of 53% proof. I have tried Chartreuse before, and don’t dislike it (like absinthe, it feels almost otherworldly drinking it – you shudder like Toulouse Lautrec), and don’t dislike bitters generally  – D, conversely, grimacing, cannot touch them with a barge pole – but I derive a strange satisfaction from that convulsive sense of them doing something beneficial to my innards – treating poison with poison.  Alloro, though. Just bay laurel leaves. I almost feel like trying to concoct some at home. You never know how long you might have to stay inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To avoid the dreaded ‘bay confusion’, it should be noted for the sticklers here that Bay laurel (laurus nobilis) is of course a completely different species of herb to the ‘bay leaf’ used in Jamaican Bay Rum preparations (pimenta racemes); the latter is warmer and much spicier – and similar in odour and flavour to allspice and pimiento berries. I love both bays, though bay rum aftershaves in the manner of Old Spice and the majority of gentleman’s haberdashery bay concentrations are a tad too ‘grey gabardine Carey Grant leering hunkpapa’ for me personally. D will sometimes wear Czech & Speake’s saucy Cuba which has a strong bay rum note ; Aramis’ womanizing Havana has a hard, spiky bay rum at its angularly exiled heart, but anything too bayrummy always feels to me a bit too bitter-breathed, shaving-creamed manly for me to take too much of in one go. Olympic Orchids’ extraordinarily potent Bay Rum is oppressive. I feel almost harassed by such smells. Close, but no cigar. Still, pimiento, like clove, is a wonderful winter spice, and most bay rum aftershave preparations contain both of these fiery stud-like nails, alongside herbs and woods, and also flowers to create their arousing, yet almost sedative effect.

 

 

 

 

 

Geo F Trumper’s very singular take on bay rum

 

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is almost scandalously simple  ( there are scores of angry men online lamenting its lack of a true bay rum feel), but this precisely is why I sometimes wear my bottle: it is just cloves, cloves, and cloves, with an aftertaste of bay leaf-  quite similar to Caron Poivre , but without that glorious carnation’s black, inchoate heart. Still, I like it, sometimes, even if just for a brief blast of spicy eugenol on a cold, rainy morning when, shivering,  I can’t for the life of me think of anything else to put on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Santa Maria Novella’s justifiably famed ‘Pot Pourri’ is sold both as a macerated preparation of flowers and spices in decorative lidded glass or porcelain bowls, to subtly/powerfully fragrance the home, as well as an eau de toilette (which is very popular in Japan among those in the fashionable know). Deep, rosed, almost sour and ineffably pungent, this is the scent that assails you from every angle when you enter the glorious apothecary in Florence, a recipe that has been continued in the same manner for centuries. Pot Pourri contains large quantities of bay laurel (see the picture at the top), which is probably the most prominent note in this elegant and mysterious blend of treated essences along with resinous cloves, vinegared flowers and herbs such as thyme, lavender and carnations over peru balsam and patchouli; it is a smell that once experienced, never leaves your smell brain (thank you so much, Georgia, for bringing me my first ever encounter with this potion all those years ago in Japan; for me, this is inextricably also the smell of our old house in Kamakura ); immediately recognisable  – in fact, those that remember my prevaricating, a few years ago, over whether to buy an extortionately priced vintage bottle of Coty Chypre, will probably remember the antique shop in Shinjuku that still has that bottle ( I was there just a couple of weeks ago or more, though time has started to lose its graspability a little at the moment, as you know); locked inside a wooden cabinet with a dusting, glassed window;  the same price; now less affordable than ever……….when I went in to check, the entire space full of British artefacts; mirrors; vases, lampshades; chandeliers was scented with the carefully placed ceramic dish plied with some Santa Maria Novella,  creating a very pleasing, quiet and refined moment. For those who enjoy the yearning dark stars of chypre such as Clinique Aromatics and the like, the aqua di colonia of this curious perfume by Santa Maria Novella is most definitely worth seeking out. It is unique.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It is quite interesting that I have been so drawn to bay laurel recently. Looking into its aromatherapeutic benefits today,  I find that it is good for the heart, arthritis, the digestion;  is anti-influenza/ colds, and was often used in fighting off the plague. I have obviously come to it instinctively. In large doses, I found out this morning that like nutmeg – which I have also been using huge quantities of, intuitively –  it can almost be a narcotic (hence my swooning, perhaps, over my own laurel-stuffed chilli chicken and roasted turnips that we had for dinner last night) – burned into the air at the rituals of the Delphic Oracles as an offering to the gods. Laurel is warming to the soul – a sanctuary   – literally in the case of Daphne, the daughter of the river god Peneus and the nymphs Creusa in Thessaly, a ‘proud huntress’ who yearned only to be free and live in the forest, unattached, but was chased and hounded by the God Apollo until, in a moment of desperation as they reached the river bank, she was transformed – to the god’s astonished eyes    —-  into a living laurel tree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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In Edith Hamilton’s ‘Mythology’ (1942) , we are told that Daphne is relentless in her desire to be undomesticated, left alone  (“Daphne was another of those independent, love-and-marriage-hating young huntresses who are met with so often in the mythological stories”): and there is indeed something very beautiful, if tragic, in the idea of this fierce spirit being liberated into the leaves I have been consuming these last few weeks without even being conscious of these old and ancient tales (I had obviously been ‘resting on my laurels’  somewhat in the Classics department , a term I had never really understood before, but which now of course I see is a a reference to those conceited champions and emperors who wreathe themselves in laurel leaves, but then become complacent and indolent, feasting on their former glories). With this aromatic, delicious tree,  I love the link to D’s Greek Cypriot roots  – his mother is also Daphne ; the power of the demi-goddess; the symbolic extrication, and refuge into nature.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“But Daphne flew on, even more frightened than before. If Apollo was indeed following her, the case was hopeless, but she was determined to struggle to the very end. It had all but come; she felt his breath upon her neck, but there in front of her the trees opened and she saw her father’s river. She screamed to him : “Help me! Father, please help me!” At the words, a dragging numbness came upon her, her feet seemed rooted in the earth she had been so swiftly speeding over. Bark was enclosing her; leaves were sprouting forth. She had been changed into a tree :  a laurel.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under BAY LEAF, Herbal, Spice

A POIGNANT MOMENT : ARMANI extrait (1982)

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I have written about the original Armani perfume before.  An emotive green rose chypre, this is a deeply romantic scent with an unusual top accord of galbanum, pineapple and mint wreathed delicately above a very white, gorgeous Elizabethan ruff of cyclamen, muguet and roses. Underlain with orchid, soft balsams and cedar, it is intimately caught up in my memory with a girl I once knew in Rome who wore this perfume to truly superb effect – it encircled her, you could never get away from the slightly implored but dignified, obsessive aura it left in the air when you were standing next to her………. a strangely sweet and softly oakmossed and ambered scent, that I have always found curiously beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Z has just come to finally collect her perfumes. They drove down from Tokyo, but didn’t come in to the house :  this was a mutual decision. Things are complicated for foreigners here – we don’t know when, or if, we will see each other again. It is against my nature not to hug my friends, but we were sensible. She left, as a parting gift, a bottle of the Armani extrait in my letter box :  the bottle you see here, which I had never laid hands on, nor smelled before. It is by far the best concentration I have smelled of Armani Pour Femme:  greener;  softer: more tender and ensnaring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks Z

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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NO NARCISSUS AT THE NARCISSUS TEMPLE

Spring! Spring! Spring !

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I STARTED ONLINE TEACHING

 

 

 

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I wore a tropical ylang ylang oil I bought from a tea shop in Hanoi.

 

 

 

 

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A NORMAL PERFUME REVIEW . . . . . DETCHEMA by REVILLON (1953)

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Detchema, along with Carnet de Bal (darker, more androgynous), is perhaps the Parisian fourrier Revillon’s most well known perfume. A clean, aldehydic floral along the lines of No 5, it is less orris and musk-bound – a little lighter, very floral (hyacinth, jasmine, ylang, rose); soapy; refined. No matter what you think about wearing fur, there is no denying that this perfume would certainly have smelled beautiful on a slender swan’s neck nuzzling beneath new mink: in Roman Polanski’s ‘Rosemary’s Baby’, Detchema is the scent that Mia Farrow graciously tells an onlooker she is wearing when asked about her perfume at the pharmacy, highlighting the prominence that this faded feminine classic must have had in the public’s eye even up to the late sixties. Though perhaps a little dated now, if still pretty, it does seem perfectly suited to the actress’s (and character’s),  wide-eyed, gamine air of vulnerability.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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17 Comments

Filed under Floral Aldehydes, Flowers

MAELSTROM : COLOGNE DU 68 by GUERLAIN (2006)

 

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When I got in yesterday afternoon I threw off my clothes and started spraying perfume into the air and all around me, like a child frantically filling in an old colouring book. I wanted an immediate fix of something warm and sweet. But also with freshness and impact, and instinctively grabbed Guerlain’s Cologne du 68, using at least a tenth of my bottle. It felt right. Like painting in cracks. Not exquisite, at least not this particular bottle, which I think has soured a little (rather like myself), but still absorbing and cheering.

 

 

Usually on the Black Narcissus, the visuals, whether created by me or stolen, are chosen to match the atmosphere of a particular fragrance. Today’s do not. This is an uplifting, scintillant cologne: the second I smelled this perfume when it first came out I thought of Roma, by Laura Biagiotti (1988), my sister’s soft, signature grapefruit oriental, as there are remarkable similarities in the general effect. Both end on fluffed up rugs of balming, vanillic realness, but begin with citric freshness, and there is nothing really dour or miserable about either of them – quite the opposite. Roma is the lighter and more enjoyable for me: 68 makes rather a meal of its notes, which you can read for yourself as they are listed on the bottle : thinking about this perfume you wonder what isn’t in it rather than what is.

 

 

The base of this perfume is all benzoin, opoponax, vanilla, ‘musc végetale’, amber, ciste and a gourmand praline accord, which is why it will smell quite familiar to a lot of people – possibly a precursor in some ways to the slew of sugary ambered cougars we have been subjected to in the fragrance market ever since. It is nice though: comforting. From the clinging, oriental base, as we move up the mirrored tower of layered accords we smell heliotrope and iris for a confectioner’s touch of powdered icing sugar, along with a list of alleged flowers that are supposedly there in the mix somewhere but which are never immediately obvious to the nose (frangipani, jasmine, magnolia, rose, carnation, cyclamen, peony, ylang ylang – will wonders never cease?), alongside only faintly palpable smatterings of spices (really?): nutmeg, ginger, cardamom, black pepper; fruit (fig, lychee? green pear), the volume of which is all turned down very low in the mix  to the point of complete absence. No : the most noticeable accord in Cologne 68, is the direct dissonance (and hence its interest) with the voluptuous base accord that lies beneath : the zinging, green citric herbal freshness of the top, which, like Roma, is centred on grapefruit, with a whole fruit specialist’s array of citrus fruits alongside it from clementine to lime, to bergamot and blood orange fused genially in a great rush of culinary herbaceous, with juniper berries most definitely at the fore to my nose, twinned with basil, aniseed, and myrtle/cypress to give a leafed and foresty foregrounding. If it all sounds like something of a mess, for the first seconds I always wonder whether it might be, but yesterday – to just fill in my monochrome framework, a morning of severe stress    —  it worked quite nicely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

To talk of dissonance, especially cognitive dissonance (in the field of psychology, ‘cognitive dissonance occurs when a person holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values, or participates in an action that goes against one of these three, and experiences psychological stress because of this’) – yesterday was a most rich example, and I am still reeling and run down (convinced I have now got the coronavirus), and desperately trying to process it all.  I also have to be careful how I say it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What I realized, or what, rather was reinforced, essentially, is that there is an entire, alternate universe playing out here in Japan. Which you will have sensed from what I have been writing a lot about recently, from my piece on peaches and Mt Fuji when writing about White Zagara, to the wedding (what was I thinking?) and a whole load of other posts I have put up on here since hammering the point home that the country just simply does not seem to be taking the threat of the coronavirus seriously, for some, inexplicable reason that has been driving me insane.  To experience it in the flesh though, when you have been hiding in your perfumed paradise is to recoil; to feel traumatised by the gap between what you ‘know’ to be true (from Western media sources, from here, from Facebook, I would like to say common sense but that is always a subjective term) and how another culture – the adopted one you live and work in and pay taxes to – is processing that same information. The huge gulf between how you  – always trapped in your sad David and Goliath trope – behave, and how your Japanese colleagues behave, simply for the reason they have no choice but to do so (whether this is true or not, literally, I cannot say. Of course we have a choice. But nobody is going to choose to be without a job and starve to death, especially when they have children).

 

 

 

 

This  was explained to me, as my boss drove me in the car, yesterday morning, picking me up from my house (by chance, my Japanese mother, Mrs Mitomi was walking out of her door onto the street at that very  moment and said to him directly, ‘Look after this boy, please (‘kono ko’): he’s already had pneumonia twice!’, which touched me deeply as I marched to his car, both of us masked, while we discussed the severity of the times for the company and the national, and international, situation. I see it from his viewpoint clearly: they really do feel that there is nothing else that they can do but soldier on. Unless the government takes solid action. Essentially, unless this government has an actual lockdown – at least one as defined by what is happening in Europe, America, India and almost everywhere else right now, where you must stay inside, by law, and all businesses are closed in order to stop the spread of infection, businesses will continue to go ahead as usual because they feel they have no alternative; if you close and your competitors pick up your market share, down goes your income; your company goes down the plughole, and so do your employees; thus, like the pictures I put up the other day in Tokyo, virtually nothing has changed here. They are ‘urging’ a 80% reduction in social contact (‘social distancing, or ‘shakaiteki kyori’ is now just starting to be mentioned on TV now as a ‘thing’, my translator friend told me yesterday), but you would never have known that yesterday. There WAS no social distancing. Anywhere. Not on the streets, and not in my company. All of the teachers and staff, about twenty of them, most of whom I know for a fact have come down on the train from Yokohama, Tokyo – where cases are surging – and other areas to the metropolitan centre, were packed into the teachers’ room  – from what I could see from the great distance I was looking at them all from – with about 500cm between them   –   and no windows open.

 

 

 

 

 

It posed a horrible dilemma. I want them to be well. I worry about them getting infected. Even the teachers I don’t personally get along with I still respect for their knowledge, dedication, and ridiculous levels of hard work, and besides those,  there are other people I get along fantastically with – a clutch of oddball intellectual eccentrics who share my sense of humour and general life philosophy  – but who don’t have my defiant attitude, which I think simply comes down to the fact that I am a foreigner from outside and thus have much more leeway; a different work contract, different conditions – I will never be one of them; couldn’t be even if I wanted to, and you know that I don’t in any case – my freedom is just too important for me.

 

 

 

Still, to arrive, be shuttled up to a room upstairs without saying hello was quite embarrassing  (but sharing elevators, even just with those two teachers! Every surface looked terrifying, contaminated to me yesterday; the shared pens, the having to film with the windows shut because of construction work outside; the hands on the equipment I have to borrow in order to set up my virtual classroom at home; I was wiping down everything ‘like a madman’, disinfecting my hands every five minutes, I felt sick: when I went to the bathroom and took off my mask for a second to see my unwillingly just shaved face I was red as a tomato, bilious and puffy, really nervous, with slightly bloodshot eyes, but everybody else was just acting as usual as though nothing whatsoever were going on). This is cognitive dissonance I think: when your world is split in two, or three and you start to lose a sense of what is real    (I  could feel all you watching me yesterday as I was doing what I was doing; I could see the dismay on your faces at the lack of hygienic precautions being taken; I could sense your worry, the sheer illogic of it all, so it was like living in multiple dimensions at once; yes, understanding the logic of what you were thinking, which I am virtually guaranteed to agree with 100%,, but at the same time, immersed in an entirely other dimension, from within, acting intuitively from the Japanese perspective, having absorbed the unwritten, silent mores of this place, feeling the Japanese mindset, doing what I ‘had to’, knowing what was acceptable to say and what was not; to just ‘get on with it’, and get the job done.

 

 

 

 

 

But then, to insist on leaving, the moment I had done what I had been asked to. Refusing to get on public transport like everybody else. Explicitly (the president was apparently furious about this). Being ordered a taxi (the outrageousness of which you honestly cannot conceive): not only am I leaving without even approaching the teachers’ room where my comrades are tapping away at their computers, frightened behind their masks, unable to do anything except what they are ordered to do, but then I am just leaving through the automatic doors and waving behind me like a foreign dignitary, a film star       (the government’s ‘state of emergency’ is truly laughable, here, though,  honestly: I HAD to do it that way….I wish there were a stronger word to express my condensed exasperation, but listen to this:  in today’s Japan Times, it was reported that the ‘economic revitalisation’ Minister, Yasutoshi Nishimura, has said that “Barber shops, beauty salons and DIY stores are vital in maintaining daily lives”  – so would remain open, along with all other businesses : : : only karaoke parlours and certain restaurants are being restricted; pubs will have to close at 8pm instead of 11pm. (????) The sheer stupidity of that last sentence, and the fact it is true, is what is eating me inside like furiously writhing maggots in an apple. It is rending me. I feel like Cassandra, a person who is condemned to know reality, and the terror of the future, but is never believed by anyone. People just blinking at me being their masks. A kind of void. In a way, it’s torture, and it creates a stress in the body that swathes around me like a barely suppressed maelstrom that yesterday, when I got home  I just succumbed to, but then  (‘stress can be helpful, if you own it’,’ says a very interesting article in the New York Times today

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and I am, which is why I am writing this; ‘anger is an energy’ said John Lydon in the P.i.L song, and I am not angry all the time, especially now I am back in the cocoon  (about five weeks initially, and then we will take it from there, even though figuring out how to do my job completely differently is not going to be easy.) But then again it goes without saying that none of this is easy for anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ultimately, I don’t quite know where it comes from, but I do think I have a steel backbone of truth in my body that is very fiercewhich is why I am completely immune toreligionsand cults. I must be careful, I need to earn a living, but I WILL resist. Even in the face of complete madness, though it isolates you and you can feel a great welling sense of frustration that can border on psychosis (see my piece on the aftermath of the earthquake here in 2011, when straight afterwards, as the Fukushima reactor was pumping out lethal radiation and might possibly explode and most of the foreign population was rushing to the airports, I was being told that ‘everything is fine! there is no problem!’…… I almost felt a sardonically enjoyable calm among the maelstrom. A sense, almost, of just yielding to it in peace. Of resignation.  OK then, just take me. And for a few seconds, you just give up to the craziness. You just let it crack open your head and pour out the albumen and yolk into the wind. You cannot change what you cannot change. Which is certainly not restricted to where I am writing this now. Every time a certain man in the Whitehouse spews an utterance …….it’s very similar. You still feel agitated; incensed. 

 

 

 

 

 

Which is how I left it yesterday. I knew I had to go into the teachers’ room to say hello, goodbye, how are you and whatever but something inside me explicitly forbade me. I COULD NOT. I may pay for it later, socially, and perhaps in other ways too, but to me it felt like walking into a plague zone. It was impossible for me to even approach it. I detest the fact that people might think that I think that I am ‘above it all’, that I am being seen led out the building by the powers that be into a taxi, as though I have special or preferential status. I truly don’t want to, as that way of thinking is directly different to my ethos. But I know that that is how it looked to everyone who could see it. He thinks we are contaminated. He won’t come near us. But we are stuck in here. Who does he think he is? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know. Just someone who is rationally weighing up the dangers and parsing my information from a great variety of sources: trying to be as objective as possible; someone who has already experienced family members getting it, people dying, my siblings being out of work, who has read extensively about how hideous it is to be intubated and in complete solitude in an ICU not knowing whether you are going to live or die, and who sometimes simply has to take matters into his own hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was bliss to get back here yesterday.

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SCENT OF THE DAY

 

 

 

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I have to go in to work today. For just one day. I cannot get out of this situation. I need my visa. I need employment. Otherwise I would be turfed out of Japan. And I want to help my colleagues and the company, at this economically very difficult juncture. It has been a tense time, trying to negotiate a way to continue working without having to come into contact with so many people on buses and trains.  But I refuse to do so. A survival instinct. We had to find a way around it. So later this morning, I am to be picked up, taken to school – and, taking as many precautions as possible, with the window open, in my own room – will prepare a couple of classes to be recorded by staff and sent to students ; will then be taken back home with a borrowed video camera and portable whiteboard to do lessons thereafter, until things become more settled and under control.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE SCENT OF THE DAY :

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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From right to left:

 

 

 

 

  1. ‘ATTACK’ WASHING POWDER . This is a very anodyne washing powder that doesn’t leave too much smell on clothes. I have grown weary of strong smelling fabric conditioners recently that bug me all day long. This one isn’t perfect (and our washing machine is cold water only so never gives the results I would ideally like to have), but I washed all my work clothes and bag yesterday to flush out the perfumed, incense lingering effect that might be a residue from hanging in this pungent palace; clothes washed, and dried in air and sunlight.

 

 

 

2. COW BEAUTY SOAP.  A classic. ‘Ooh, my dear, you smell exactly like a cow’. ‘Why, thank you’. 

No, actually, this is a very clean, white, old fashioned soap – the only one I could find at the convenience store yesterday – as cold as marble, as squeaky as thou. Containing milk, it has a very cool, conservative scent that I quite like. A salaryman crafted by Rodin.

 

 

3. MERIT SHAMPOO ‘WITH RINSE IN’. As usual, I have been using different shampoos at home, depending on what perfume I have been wearing; most recently Shiseido’s Rosarium, a slightly expensive but very rich scented rose number containing real centifolia oil  that went well with all the Givenchy Gentleman patchoulis and whatever else I have been marinating in these last, heavily perfumed weeks at home. But for work, I think this ‘shampoo for the people’, the commendable Merit will most probably do. Japanese people like the shampoo and conditioner in 1 type affairs, especially men, for speed, and this product works better than using two separate products. The smell is very gentle; almost like a grapefruited, slightly Brut-ish sudsy Calandre (grapefruit anything is the go to smell in Japan); a little perfumey, and sometimes I think it is too strong if too much sunshine hits your head and you are hectic and busy, but it does present a classic example of what Japanese shampoos smell like. It is popular. In one school, I once worked for years with a very pretty woman of a certain age who had the petitest figure you can imagine, perfectly applied make-up and hair slightly too big for her body, like a bobbing pageant Cindy Doll  : a fabulous coiffed pouff-    though also rotting teeth, which somewhat ruined the overall effect. Whenever she wisped by me to get to the photocopier, though, so skinny you worried she would snap in two if you breathed out in her direction – her waist was about the width of my wrist –  she always gave off a very pleasant after-scent that I often thought might have been down to MERIT.

 

 

4. GATSBY 8X4 UNSCENTED DEODORANT. D’s and my most usual choice of deodorant stick, readily available. It smells of nothing. And usually effective. Lasts all day (most Japanese people don’t even wear or need deodorant – we foreigners do). Once though, we had an inexplicably defective batch that must have been missing the key ingredients and it was at the height of the sweltering summer. The results in our respective classrooms were not good.

 

5. VASELINE. Essential for me at the best of times but particularly when handling chalk, the texture of which is repugnant to the depths of my very soul (see my deep phobia of powder). But to make it a far more enjoyable experience than mere grease, this pot o’ vaseline has been scented right through with grapefruit essential oil and it really does smell FANTASTIC! I tend to use lemon oil  in my vaseline hand rubs, but there wasn’t any there when I last went to MUJI – people are buying essential oils in protection; Instead for the first time I used a 30ml bottle of grapefruit  oil and each time I open this tub it’s an immediate mood booster – my brain smiles involuntarily, and so do my lips. It’s just like peeling a grapefruit for breakfast. Glorious. This will of course be used as a barrier to the motherfucker, as it is antibacterial and hopefully viral, but is more just a defensive olfactory mechanism and a way for me to wear scent with immediacy on the spot, whenever I feel like it. You thought I was going to go into work completely unscented? Think again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. SANITIZER. Managed to get some yesterday from the local shops – it has been hard to come by but I have bought four bottles. This one is a very viscous alcohol gel that feels like the kind of thing you get before an ultrasound, a bit sticky at first, but then it disappears completely.  I will be availing myself of it A LOT today I can tell you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To summarise:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today’s Scent Of The Day is going to hopefully be clean; soapy, nothingy, with the occasional invisible zest of pamplemousse to take people by surprise and give me olfactory power. I have to get through this day. I need to do a good job. I want to make as little contact as possible. And then, when I am making my videos at home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

YOU CAN BET YOUR BOTTOM  DOLLAR THAT I WILL BE THERE GRINNING INTO THE CAMERA EACH DAY: FRAGRANCED FONDLY IN ALL MY MOST LUXURIANT, SCENTED ABUNDANCE OF PERFUMED GLORY. 

 

 

 

 

 

YES M’AAAM. 

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Japan right now

 

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A MOMENT OF CLARITY : KOKE SHIMIZU (MOSS WATER) by SATORI (2005)

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I have woken up alone. D has gone back to work. There are no children, no students, because they are off – by law – until May 7th. But teachers……

 

 

 

 

It was hard for me to sleep last night thinking about the sheer futility of the delay in calling a lockdown, as Tokyo finds new surges in corona cases. And to imagine : sixty or more teachers in a windowless, unventilated room ‘preparing lessons’ for a studentless beginning of term when it is epidemiologically obvious that they instead should be self-isolating at home. I can’t stand him being there in that situation. I feel enragedly helpless. I myself am due back on Thursday, theoretically, but am not sure if I will be able to go back, psychologically. I don’t know if I could tolerate having to do it when it is so against my will and my feeling of common sense. I have just this very minute heard that there is apparently about to be a state of emergency declared, but I can imagine this being limited to Tokyo (even though all the trains I have to catch are going back and forth, back and forth, all day long between the megalopolis and where I work; teachers live in those places and come down; the trains and buses are full of people; it makes no logical sense. My blood is inflammable this morning —- you could take a match to me —- so I think I will leave it there before I say something I regret…)

 

 

 

On Sunday afternoon we sat on the balcony in the warm sun. (Well, we call it the balcony: really it is a ‘veranda’ or whatever you call a place that you hang out the washing). That is what Japanese people would use theirs for, in any case, and probably find us very eccentric for turning it into our outside relaxation space  – usually just functional places made of plastic, the previous owners of this place had instead made a really nice one made of wood which we have decorated with furniture and hung with rugs and plants – and curious seventies furniture and metal ashtrays, so I suppose it could also be thought of in truth as being a ‘deck’ – in any case, it is the place we often go when the sun comes out for just sitting and reading the newspaper or drinking wine and listening to music. Just staring out into the sky. Taking in the pleasing ambient sounds of the neighbourhood that we live in; children in the distance, cats, the sounds of bird song. People laughing. Our retreat. Sadly, we were intensely aware that the spring vacation was coming to an end and that we were about to be senselessly forced back into the worksphere right in the middle of a silenced epidemic (Japan just really doesn’t want to admit that this happening. The recalcitrance, the refusal to accept reality is astonishing in this case…………………..but in a land where ambiguity is key, and it is the ambiguity that has probably kept us here, as it is so much more beautiful and malleable for people like us than the Anglo-Saxon overemphatic dissection, and is the basis for all of the things that we love about living in Japan), except on this occasion : : : :  when our lives our literally at stake, and my vote most definitely goes for European rationality,  and precise, completely logic-based, action. 

 

 

 

 

 

In perfume, though. We get so used to the vamp, the hooker, the slugging showstopper. The contextual mindfuck; the ‘latest addition’, ‘the new eau de toilette’. All these heavily contrived and market researched perfumes that command such attention and require such commitment as you endure them through your day from their top notes to their unwashable bases that you sometimes forget that the quieter, more gentle perfumes – at the right moment – can feel like a godsend. Like moments of awakening. Cue Koke Shimizu, or Moss Water, a perfume I have neglected to ever try on properly previously as it seemed so light and inconsequential when I undoubtedly had more ‘lordy’ preoccupations on my mind and was flouncing or stampeding through the house like Napoleon Bonaparte meets Charles Baudelaire: at other times I would have probably thought to myself, when dripping laboriously in unguent, that I couldn’t even actually smell it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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In the rays of the sun coming down onto the balcony, on clean skin, I applied some Koke Shimizu onto D’s left wrist. And I must confess when I came closer to smell it I did something I am not sure I have ever done before: I instinctively brought my whole head down onto his arm. In exhalations, and rested there inhaling from that spot, like a fawn in a forest coming to drink water near to a pool of light in an afternoon clearing.  Air. Grass.  The muffled quiet of moss on trees. A pool just in the visible distance. A moment of grace. How perfumer Satori Osawa achieved this effect I don’t know – the notes available online do not correspond with how I smell the result – she has crafted something of great delicacy here – but it is wonderful to know that a whole other world of perfumery exists, if you are lucky enough to come across it, in which private moments of reflection like this can create an oasis of calm that you can truly retreat into. Just pause, and look up. Admittedly, the ending of the scent is not as interesting as the beginning, ceding to a delicate oakmoss powder that does not quite contain the clear serenity of the opening, but even this, later in the evening, on D, had become like moss in the moonlight. Alone in the garden of the temple precinct; self reliant; unconstrained.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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