I am quite low energy at present, just getting through the weeks. This is the longest and most entrenched rainy season I can remember, a dreary, wet, oppressive and overcast continuum that has just sucked away my vitality. What reserves remain I have been keeping for the classroom; ideas for pieces bubble up, but then I instead find myself slumped in an armchair in front of the projector, soaking up cinematic images, or else in front of the computer, like a vampire drinking up dramas or reality TV.
This year we are all living at half mast. It’s a strange hibernation that we have had to resign ourselves to. The masked life is deeply depleting to the blood and to the senses, but we do it for good reason ( = I protect you : you protect me ). Overall it is working, relatively speaking ( look at the UK and America in comparison !) – I just don’t understand why compliance is so difficult, but I am too tired to go into it ( please do tell me what is happening wherever you are, though : I feel that I need to reconnect, rather than just moping about in the rain lost in my own unstimulating thoughts ( my DREAMS, on the other hand…. my god they are wilder and more unbelievable than ever…) )
On Sunday there was an unpredicted respite / let up in the weather. The skies cleared, became blue, and the sun came out blazing : and so was my mood. I frustrate myself in being so weather and atmosphere dependent : sometimes I just wish I could be less porous; more contained; less weather-affected. But my emotions are like a barometer that rises and falls just like mercury in the miserable air pressure. Sure, I like rainy days occasionally : sometimes they can be cathartic, soothing ( and there is no better weather for listening to my beloved Tori Amos). But when the sun comes out; real summer, I am like a snake shedding skin – the shining being beneath released.
Paco Rabanne Sport is a delightfully lithe and fresh perfume I used to wear as a teenager. Basenotes lists these ingredients :
A subtle, floral green citrus with an unobtrusive skin base perfect for a white polo shirt, I still have a couple of bottles of this discontinued ( and underrated ) classic that I wear spontaneously when the mood strikes. I remember when it first came out back home being beside myself getting free little sample tubes of the shower gel and the edt
– which were DIVINE to my young senses in July: this was definitely one of my pivotal, ecstatic scent moments as I became gradually more and more besotted with perfume.
And although I have of course moved on to many, many others in the meantime, when Shiseido released a quite similar ‘green floral for men’ in Japan in 1997, not long after I arrived, available in a full range of products from hair mousse to gel to deodorant to splash on cologne ( on Sunday I wore the eau fraiche: a sap white lotion you have to shake first before applying to the body – a deliciously cooling fluid talc), together with the Paco Rabanne, they made D lean in as we passed each other on the stairs, and smile (‘You smell lovely’); the spot on accompaniment to sitting quietly among the plants on the balcony, looking on wistfully at the disappearing sun.