Filed under Flowers

10 responses to “THE END OF TERM

  1. What just happened there?

  2. johnluna

    I think it’s an interesting juxtaposition of your scale to varied other ones (an arson — a local disaster — as dreadful but conceivable, the ongoing pandemic as a numbing blend of sensible anxiety mingled with humanistic pessimism, and the war as inescapable shock and unending dread… The latter is debilitating to try to measure, not because it’s the only such catastrophe in recent memory at all, but because it is the one that most forcefully imposes its implications of regression and decline on the western imagination. As a teacher myself (at a 6-day a week, 10+ hours most days grind of a boarding school), I know that by the time term break arrives as mine just has, I have a debt-load of emotions that I simply have not processed for weeks. It takes about three days to decompress (faster if one day is spent in bed or listening to music with the mood swings of a teenager.)

    And there is so much to process now. So end of term has different implications for a teacher — its one part coming up from the deep, one part adjustment to the varied expansion and contraction of elastic time, and one part holding on to the numbness that is a necessary but deadening prophylactic. I hope that doesn’t sound too histrionic… Whether it is or not, what you are doing here (looking around at the world without judgement or the need to act) seems like a necessary step in negotiating the transition, and maybe a healthier one than those I’ve mentioned.

    • Very interesting. And not histrionic.

      I work four days a week : it was the ENTIRE reason I went for the job all those years ago, as having no idea whatsoever what to do with my life from childhood, I at least knew I would love a three day weekend. And even a four day week is exhausting for me ( how do you manage six? And if it’s a boarding school, how can you ever detach ?)

      I have a weird brain/ soul. I start to mentally dislocate -against my will – about six weeks into term; before that I am usually engaged and energetic and trying my damndest to connect : after that it is as if whatever lives inside me says ‘that’s enough now’ and I become more and more distant doing only or less than the bare minimum. By the last week of term I am truly not there at all, and have no energy even to clear up a few papers on my desk. And there is NOTHING I can do about it whatsoever.

      The last few days at home I have been in a kind of amoeba state ( very pleasant ! and yes to teenage mood swing music in bed ); today I am meeting a friend to do piano duets : from next week I hope my brain is clear enough to start writing my book on Japan.

      Hope you also get some clarity, relaxation and manage to feel revitalized.

  3. Very interesting images 🤔

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